Kidnapped!
by kat009
Summary: SPOILERS VOL. 12 - After losing her nerve and leaving Ryoki at the alter, Hatsumi finds herself with a choice: Ryoki or Shinogu. Of course, with Hatsumi's history, there's no way things will stay so simple...
1. Winner Take All

**Winner Take All**

By: Katryn Parker

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**Author's Note: **Takes place after the series, so there will be MAJOR SPOILERS!! Hatsumi will be ending up with Shinogo, Ryoki, or Azusa, and Akane will end up with Subaru or Kazama.

_Thoughts and memories will be in italics._

Please enjoy!

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hot Gimmick or any of its characters.

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_Did I make the right choice?_

Hatsumi Narita – or Hatsumi Tachibana, as she would soon be called – stood in front of the full-length mirror at the church, a nervous tick making her rock on her feet and play with the strand of hair that had fallen out of her up-do. She was alone in the small room that they'd left her in now…

_How did I get myself into this? Could I just leave? No…Ryoki would freak…oh no…Hatsumi…why didn't you ask to wait a little longer when you had the chance?_

Akane had been a little too supportive. She could see her younger sister's face, that gun-ho smile on. _'Go ahead Hatsumi! If you love him you should go for it!' _

And Shinogu too…if he had protested...maybe she wouldn't be here now.

To tell the truth, she was completely panicked. Who was going to get her out of this now? Yes, she loved Ryoki, she really did…

…_but do I? He's so forceful sometimes…and I thought he would change…but will he ever change? Can he change? So many questions…I need more time to answer them…aaaaaaaah…_

Even though Azusa was going to be at the wedding, she was sure he wouldn't help her either. Hatsumi remembered the last conversation they'd had, and the last thing he'd said to her before the rehearsal yesterday. _'I know you'll regret it Hatsumi, but I guess you should do whatever you want. Ryoki's right. You are an idiot.'_

And there it was again: the fact that, even if Ryoki did love her more than anything else in the world…he thought that she was stupid. And that hurt. Why would he think that, anyway? Why did he keep saying all those bad things about her? If he really thought those things, why did he love her?

She looked up at the clock, almost not wanting to see. If she was going to do this…she just wanted it done and over with.

Or not…maybe not. Fifteen minutes…well, that was enough time to do something and get out of here. But what? She was just sure that someone was outside the door, watching like a hawk. Probably Ryoki's mother. Oh God…Mrs Tachibana was still such a big problem in Hatsumi's life. And she wasn't going to stop being there. Even after it had seemed like she would completely disconnect with Ryoki and his father, she had come back with a vengeance to try and take hold of wedding plans and pretend like everything was OK. At least she hadn't succeeded; Hatsumi's mother and – surprisingly, Ryoki's father – were trying to keep Ryoki's mother in check.

Hatsumi looked up at the clock again before slowly walking to the door and cracking it open to look outside, afraid that she would get a swift kick in the face by Ryoki's mother…but no one was out there. Glancing around, she opened the door a little wider, wishing that she'd brought her clothes into the room with her…easier to avoid detection when you aren't wearing a big white dress.

_OhmiGod…I can't believe I'm doing this…_

It was at that moment that he – the one person who could do the most to help her – walked past the room.

Azusa Odagiri.

He paused to talk to some other people out of her line of vision and she hissed out a breath at him, trying to make sure he would see her. She didn't want to have to resort to waving her arms…but she would if she had to.

Azusa glanced over and made a small smirk before hastily saying goodbye to his friends and pushing them through to the next room. Hatsumi thought he was going to leave for a moment before he looked around and quickly walked into the room with her.

The smirk on his face made her blush with shame as he closed the door behind him. "So…changed your mind, Hatsumi?"

She sighed. "Azusa…please just get me out of here."

"And how am I supposed to do that?" He grinned, crossing his arms. "Unless you plan on seriously pissing off your fiancée…you're out of luck."

"I don't know…" She had to do it. She needed to do something…she just didn't know what. Then it hit her. "Wait a minute."

"What?"

"Azusa…you need to kidnap me!"

Silence hung between the two of them before his eyes widened and his arms dropped to his side. "Wha…Hatsumi, you've got to be kidding me. Your dear Ryoki would have the cops on my ass in a second…"

"No, I would make sure Ryoki knows that you didn't really do anything. It'll all be cleared up! No trouble at all…and Ryoki already hates you anyway so it's no big deal!"

Again, she doubted if he was going to help her…and then a grin appeared on his face. "I'm starting to like this idea of yours…on one condition."

"And that is?"

"You spend your spare thinking time…with Shinogu."

----

Fifteen minutes later, Ryoki Tachibana stood at the altar waiting for his bride. Tonight he would be able to show her just how much he loved her…rediscover every inch of her body as his wife. He'd been rehearsing it in his mind over and over again – words of adoration that he had been afraid to utter for so long, because of the lack of affection in his own family. He knew that Hatsumi didn't understand the magnitude of his love for her…but he really did! And she would know soon.

The wedding march started. Ryoki sucked in a breath; she would walk down the aisle soon. And he was sure she would look stunning…not only was she physically beautiful, but she had such a kind soul. That was one of the first things he had noticed about her when they had first gotten involved…how much she cared about her sister and how much she was willing to sacrifice for the people she loved.

_Where is she?_

She wasn't coming…

_Where the hell could she be?!_

Ryoki's mother looked at him from the front row, a satisfied smirk on her face. If she had something to do with this…

Akane came running down the aisle as people began to murmur in the pews, hiking up her light green dress in order to gain speed. Ryoki tried hard not to panic…why was she so worried? Should he be worried?

She walked right up to him and looked around before passing him a piece of paper and leaning towards him. "Here…I just found it in Hatsumi's room."

Ryoki didn't even have to read the rest after he read the first line:

'Hey asshole.'

Azusa…

----

Hatsumi forced herself to breathe in and out slowly as Azusa's car sped down the highway, her hair flying around her head and continuing to fly out of the up-do and into her mouth or eyes. The dress was getting itchy…she hadn't even been able to stop at home and get some real clothes, since Azusa said that if she wanted time to think they would have to get out of Tokyo as soon as possible.

"Where are we going anyway?" she said.

"The monastery where Shinogu's staying…where else?"

She turned towards him, pulling a bobby pin out of her hair to stick it somewhere else and pin some more hair back. "Azusa, if Shinogu is a monk now, doesn't it mean that we can't…you know…anyway?"

"Seriously Hatsumi, who gives a shit about that?" Azusa replied, as if she was too stupid to comprehend. "Shinogu still loves you, and he's not going to stop. I'm sure he would give up his religion to be with you…that is, if the occasion arose."

_Maybe I should've just stayed…married Ryoki…I mean, what if he doesn't take me back after he finds out where I've been? Should I even tell him? What have you done, Hatsumi?_

"How far is it?"

Azusa shrugged. "It's gonna be a while before we get there. Shinogu didn't want to be anywhere near here after you decided you were gonna get with Tachibana…yeah, he's been pretty out of it, Hatsumi."

"Oh…I feel bad. I haven't even talked to him for months."

"Probably because he's still crazy about you," Azusa said patronizingly. Hatsumi's stomach churned uncomfortably; Azusa was blaming her for Shinogu's sad state of mind. "Being a fucking monk isn't helping. I'm sure he still thinks about you all the time…he's called me a few times. Just to ask about you. Damn passive…" – Hatsumi tried to stop him, but he continued – "…that's all he is. And this whole no sex thing is only stopping him from finding someone else and moving on-"

"Azusa, stop."

The car pulled to a halt – she supposed they were stopping somewhere for the night, as the time had passed quickly – and Azusa turned to look at her. "I'm in love with Ryoki…and there's nothing you can do about that. And I don't…I don't want people trying to change my mind about everything anymore. I just want to make my own decisions…and I want to be thought of as intelligent enough to make my own decisions. And if that's not OK with you…well then…you know what, if that's not OK with you, I'm going to tell the police you really kidnapped me. And I'm going to tell them all about your whole idea to gang rape me too, just to make them believe me."

His eyes widened for a second, and then he grinned. "Wow…I wasn't expecting that."

"Now where are we?"

"We're going to stay here for the night. Just some hotel. I don't know exactly where we are."

She let out a deep breath and then opened the car door, Azusa getting out as well.

"Glad you're finally getting a backbone Hatsumi…" Azusa muttered under his breath as they walked inside.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing…nothing at all."

----

**Author's Note: **Yeah…I know it's short. But I don't like dragging things out, and I thought it was time that this chapter was over. More complex things will be added later…but I'm tired now and it's time to stop.

Please review! I'm kind of a review whore…and I usually don't write for small fandoms like this one…so pleeeeease review! And you might get an update sooner!

--Kat


	2. Questions

**Questions **

By: Katryn Parker

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**Recap: **_Hatsumi has left Ryoki at the altar. Now she is driving towards Shinogu's place of residence with Azusa, under the guise that Azusa has kidnapped her._

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She needed time to think.

That was what it was. Time to think. That was what she needed.

Hatsumi had been thrown around like some kind of a doll since Azusa had come back to town, toying with her as if she weren't even human. Then Ryoki had come along and secured a collar around her…no matter where she went, she could always feel those restraints pulling her back, controlling what she did and how she felt. She may love Ryoki…but his own clutches on her had made her unable to really tell. Now, she was free for the first time in three years…and she had no idea what she was supposed to do with herself.

She was extremely surprised that she was able to sleep at all with the only other person in the room being Azusa. After what he had done to her when he'd first come back, she had thought that she would never be able to trust him again; but, for some reason, she felt some sense of control in this situation. After all, she could always claim that he had kidnapped her…and reveal his old plans to hurt her in order to manipulate her father. She had everything against Azusa here…and she highly doubted that he would hurt her now anyway. She had been his only friend when he really needed one. He owed her.

And Shinogu…she didn't know what she was supposed to do about Shinogu. She was on her way to meet him now, even though she didn't even know if she would ever be able to love him the way that he loved her. He had always been the most amazing brother to her; a friend, if anything else. And she definitely wasn't one for incest. _Ew… _she thought, squeezing her eyes shut. _But maybe…maybe I could grow to love him…he's always loved me as more than a friend…_

She had told him that she could never love him the way she loved Ryoki. But…she didn't even know now if she loved Ryoki.

It was all so confusing.

It was time to stop thinking and go to sleep.

She watched the fan on the ceiling spin around and around and around…she listened to the air conditioning hum continuously.

And then, somehow, she finally went to sleep.

----

Akane sighed and let her head fall against the window as Kazama stopped at another red light, letting out a loud and impatient sigh. Subaru snored in the back seat. "Do you really think we're going to find him?"

"Well, at least we're away from you're crazy-ass almost brother-in-law," Kazama muttered, "I say we drop the boyfriend off at home and then go out and party for the rest of the night. This is a bore."

Akane gave a wry laugh. "Yeah. Don't know how happy my parents would be with said partying. I'm still only seventeen, you know."

"Oh, yeah," he replied, glancing over at her. The light turned green and he reached a hand over to stroke his thumb over her cheek, deceptively innocent and friendly. "I always seem to forget."

She knew she should stop him; this flirting had been going on for way too long. She had decided that she was with Subaru…and Kazama was not going to convince her otherwise. Originally, things had seemed harmless…but he was starting to go too far.

"Look, Kazama…" she started. He stopped her.

"Yeah, I know," he said, grinning, "You're taken. Right."

She smiled back at him. "I don't know how Shinogu was ever friends with you…" she teased.

They drove on, Subaru still snoozing in the back seat. "There's no way we'll ever find them," Kazama muttered, "Azusa's one sneaky bastard…"

Akane frowned at his tone of voice, and then looked over at him, glaring.

"You know where he's taking her, don't you?"

The man turned towards her, chuckling, "I might…"

"Oh my God, Kazama. Tell me where she is! She might be in danger!"

"Calm down, Akane!" He sighed, shaking his head. "Azusa…well, you know how Azusa has it out for Ryoki, right? He would never hurt Hatsumi…he just wants to give Ryoki a good scare. I figure that Hatsumi is safe and sound right now."

"But where is she?" Akane pushed. "I know that you know. Don't tell me you don't know…"

Kazama shook his head again. "Can't tell you, Akane. You'll spill to Ryoki. I know you will."

"I just want what's best for Hatsumi. You can tell me and I'll be the judge of what should be done about this." Akane glared at Kazama. "She's in danger, you know. Azusa is _dangerous_. He kidnapped her. And he's taking her somewhere…if he wants to hurt Ryoki and not get caught…he could be gone forever. Please. Tell me where she is before it's too late."

"Oh, please, Akane." Kazama stopped at another red light as a light rain began to fall. "Do you honestly think that Azusa could have taken her out of that church against her will?"

She frowned. "Wait. You think that…you think that Hatsumi would actually…"

"Yeah, I think that Hatsumi willingly went with Azusa." He growled in frustration, hitting the dashboard with a flat hand. "Isn't it obvious that Hatsumi is in an abusive relationship? Ryoki has had complete control over her ever since I got to know them, at least…I've got a feeling that Hatsumi wanted to leave…and that Azusa was just there. Anyway, if she wanted to get away, isn't Azusa the best person to ask? He's smart…he's rich…and he hates Ryoki's guts. And he was at the wedding…although the reason why is beyond me."

"Are you sure he wasn't planning this?"

"I live with him; I would have known if he was planning it."

"And you're sure about this? You said he's sneaky…"

"I know I said that. I also said he wouldn't hurt Hatsumi." He looked her in the eye. "Trust me."

They were at the company housing building now. Akane sighed, looking back at Subaru. "Please…take me to her. At least if I'm there, you know I can't go running to tell Ryoki."

"And you promise you won't call him or anything?"

Akane nodded. "Cross my heart, hope to die."

A frown flitted across his face. "Alright. Well. On one condition."

"And that is?"

"Bring the boyfriend home. Pack a few changes of clothes – make sure your parents don't see you. I'll wait here."

She nodded again, although the rational part of her brain told her that a trip alone with Kazama was probably not the best idea. "Well…I've got one condition too."

"Yes?"

"Touch me and you die."

He grinned. "Fair enough. Care to shake on it?"

Even though she was utterly serious, she laughed and shook his hand before twisting around to wake Subaru. "Time to go in, Subaru…" she said quietly.

"Akane? Oh…alright…" He unbuckled his seatbelt and then opened the door, holding his jacket over his head and then letting Akane use the jacket as an umbrella as well. Kazama waved cheekily from the car as they ran in.

She kissed her boyfriend goodnight without telling him that she was leaving with another man that night.

They stopped a few hours into the trip and spent the night at a small hotel. Akane was careful around Kazama…even though he had been Shinogu's roommate for a short time before he had left town, he still seemed a little shady, in her personal opinion.

As she lay awake thinking (much like her sister who, unbeknownst to Akane, was a few rooms over), she thought about Shinogu…especially how he had asked Kazama to attend the wedding in his stead. How Kazama felt a strong alliance to her adopted brother. And now how Kazama was buddies with Azusa? It was…weird, honestly. She hadn't ever really known what had gone on between Hatsumi and all three of those boys: Ryoki, Azusa, Shinogu…all she knew was that Azusa hated Ryoki with a vengeance.

She just couldn't figure it out. How did Shinogu play into all of this? She knew he had to be a part of it…somehow. But exactly what was going on was completely unknown to Akane. How in the world could Kazama have known where Azusa was taking Hatsumi…? Unless he was a part of this plan.

It was all too confusing and a little scary at the same time. She squeezed her eyes shut to try and go to sleep…hoping she could trust her only companion on this trip.

----

Hatsumi woke the next morning after a night of little sleep. Azusa slept so soundly that every time she would wake up, she felt like she had to go and make sure he was still breathing. It was a little unnerving sometimes…

She had an easier time sleeping after the sun rose, and so it was with difficulty that Azusa forced her out of bed at seven in the morning, just after sunrise. "Get up, Hatsumi! Come on! We've got to get moving! Just one more day's drive…"

"Uuh…too tired…" she grumbled, rolling over and attempting to hit him with a pillow. He narrowly dodged and then grabbed the pillow, proceeding to hit her in the face with it until she woke up. "Fine…fine…fine! FINE!"

Azusa laughed, throwing the pillow onto the floor. "Get dressed; time to get moving again."

Hatsumi put on her wedding dress again, painstakingly tying all of the ribbons on the back of the bodice herself. Even if it seemed like Azusa was no longer interested in her – she was almost completely sure that his only intention was to take her to Shinogu – she still felt like she needed to be on guard.

When they left the room after she got dressed, Hatsumi complaining loudly about needing something else to wear, she glimpsed a small slip of paper on the front of the car before Azusa whipped it up, reading over it quickly. He cursed under his breath, crumpling up the paper in his fist. "What is it?" Hatsumi asked, frowning down at the piece of paper. He handed it to her and she read it out loud while pouting and crossing his arms. "'What a coincidence that we would end up in the same place? Akane has convinced me to take her to Hatsumi…' Wait. He knows where you're taking me? And he…he's with Akane?" She thought on this for a moment, chewing her lip nervously. "…he's with Akane…"

"Calm down, Hatsumi," Azusa said, "I'm sure she'll be fine. I'm just worried that she'll tell your fiancée…"

Hatsumi sighed. "You know, maybe I should go back…I could just go back and marry…marry Ryoki…"

"Hatsumi!" Azusa said sharply, "Get in the car…" She obeyed, sitting in the passenger's seat as Azusa got in opposite her. "Think about it. Do you _really _want to go back to Ryoki now? Think of how pissed he's going to be when you get back…do you want to go back before you figure out how you're going to deal with that? Hm?"

She looked out of the window. "I…hadn't really thought of that."

"Exactly," he replied, "Now…I did." He smiled mischievously. "Hatsumi…you put yourself in the perfect situation for me."

She glared over at him. "You're manipulating me."

He barked out a short laugh. "Duh. Sorry, Hatsumi, but it's in my nature. I…I want what's best for Shinogu. He's a good guy."

"And you hate Ryoki…" she added, growling angrily.

"That too." Azusa obviously thought he was winning. Hatsumi wouldn't tolerate that.

"Look," she said angrily, "I'm only going with you because I feel like I need time to think. Because I made a stupid choice when I panicked…seems like I'm good at that."

Azusa rolled his eyes. "Let's see what you think of Shinogu after you give him the opportunity to be more than just a friend…don't jump to conclusions just yet. Ryoki may not be the right one for you after all."

He backed out of the parking space and they exited the parking lot, leaving Hatsumi's life even farther behind.

----

Ryoki Tachibana leaned against the window in his flat, looking out at the city. He was supposed to be far away from here now, waking up in bed with the love of his life…not here, alone. He couldn't believe that Azusa had actually taken Hatsumi…but how? Ryoki was not dumb – he had graduated top of his class from the prestigious Kaisei Academy – and it was hard to believe that Hatsumi had actually been "kidnapped" from a crowded church…especially by one guy. He couldn't help but entertain the thought that maybe Hatsumi had gone of her own accord. Had she run away with Azusa? The thought set Ryoki's mind burning, and he clenched his fists at his sides. To think that she could actually run away with another man…

He had always been the jealous type, but he wanted to give Hatsumi her freedom. As long as she was his…that was all that mattered. He'd been going to a therapist, and his therapist had informed him that women sometimes needed space. Hadn't he been giving her enough space? He only demanded that she spend the night with him a couple nights a week…and maybe a few other nights if he felt like it…she could go out with friends and not with him occasionally. This seemed perfectly rational…right?

The thought of her running away with Azusa, however, was simply absurd. She didn't love Azusa; she didn't even really trust him. After what he had done to her, Ryoki found it highly unlikely that she would ever find any interest in that man again. Still…he was worried.

He had driven around asking if people had seen Hatsumi for hours the night before, to no avail. _Where could Azusa possibly have taken her?_ he wondered, searching his head for clues to where she could be. There was nothing there…all he could think of was the fact that either Hatsumi was in danger now…or that she was happy without him.

He took the elevator down to the garage floor and got in his car, starting the engine.

Then he put his head in his hands and began to cry.

----

Akane sucked in a breath, crossing her legs tightly. "Kazama…pull over please…I reeeally need to pee…!"

"Just hold it in, Akane…we're almost there," he chuckled, pulling over and parking in front of a small convenient store. Akane immediately opened the door and jumped out, Kazama running up behind her. Her eyes widened in shock as he came up beside her and she cast a glare at him before she opened the door to the restroom.

Now where was that cell phone…she knew she'd put it in one of her pockets. Akane dug her hand into each pocket of her low-rise jeans, coming up with nothing. "Fuck," she muttered.

She finished up in the bathroom and then met Kazama at the counter while he paid for some snacks. "You took my cell phone," she muttered as they left the small store, punching him in the shoulder.

"Ow." He rubbed his shoulder, pouting at her. "That hurt…"

"Well, you fricking deserve it!" she yelled, shoving him by both shoulders and ramming him against the side of the car. "What are you going to do? Are you going to kidnap me? Hm? What if I was just calling my mom and wanted a little privacy?"

He frowned, the jest over. "I know that you were calling Ryoki, and I know that I don't want that to happen, alright? You promised me that you would not call him, and I believed you. Now, I don't want you to try betraying my trust again. So I think I'll keep the phone. 'Kay?"

"You…" Akane frowned angrily, "You son-of-a-bitch! I'd like to strangle-"

He cut her off, leaning forward and pressing his lips against hers, leaving her breathless and limp. She realized she was leaning against him and straightened up quickly, embarrassed. "You just kissed me," she said in one quiet breath. This was…different…from what she'd been used to since she'd gotten together with Subaru. She could tell that he was an experienced kisser, for one. And there was also an element of danger. Even though she'd spent plenty of time with him, she'd never found him quite so intoxicating.

"Yeah, I did," he said huskily. Then he gently moved her away from him, going around to the other side of the car. "Go ahead and get in!" he encouraged quickly before opening the door himself and sitting in the driver's seat.

They drove through a rather sparsely populated area in silence, Akane gazing out of the window and trying to sort out what was going on with her mind…and especially her body. She was having a hard time resisting the temptation to drag the man sitting next to her into the back seat and having her way with him, even though she was adamant that she stay with Subaru. But…was she truly in love with him? They'd been together for three years now…and things were still exactly the same. She hadn't had sex since she was fourteen! And in Akane's book, that was a really long time. Could she find release with Kazama…?

She briefly tried to rationalize: she could always just have some fun and then not tell Subaru. Of course, this wasn't a good idea…but it seemed like one at the time. And did he really care that much anyway? Subaru had always taken a lot of pushing…but three years! They were both mature seventeen-year-olds – okay…maybe not mature…but they were both seventeen. Subaru was coming up on eighteen. Did he not have any sex drive whatsoever? Having lost her virginity at a young age, Akane herself didn't understand how this could be possible, but was extremely frustrated at that moment.

The car stopped at a stop sign out in the middle of nowhere and Akane glanced over at Kazama to see that he was looking at her as well. She giggled, immediately regretting that girly action. It wasn't as if he needed to think she was even more of a kid than he already did…

She looked back again to see him still staring at her. She figured that they'd now been sitting at this stop sign for about five minutes…

He moved. She moved at the same time.

Resulting in a collision of their skulls.

Akane squinted, rubbing her head and hoping that that little incident had maybe knocked some sense into her.

When she opened her eyes, she realized that it hadn't.

He was leaning over her in an instant, pushing the hair back away from her face and showering her in kisses. Her head pushed uncomfortably against the window and the lock dug into her neck, but she didn't seem to care. Akane was feeling more heat now than she'd felt in what seemed like decades as Kazama pressed himself against her, one large hand on the back of her neck and the other running up her side from her hip. She gladly opened her mouth to him when his tongue requested entry, invading her mouth passionately. She sucked on his tongue, teasing him into exploring her mouth and placing her splayed hands under his shirt to feel his muscled back.

She tried to stop herself when he parted from her lips for a moment, moving down her jaw line and then sucking eagerly on her long neck. She bent her head back, enjoying the sensation while, at the same time, she attempted weakly to push him away. "This is…so…so wrong…" she groaned, twisting her fingers into his hair.

"But it feels so right," he replied in a growl, moving himself into the passenger's seat and pulling her into his lap. She leaned down for another kiss as he unzipped her tight sweater, her cleavage becoming more and more evident. His mouth fell to her breasts and she ceased her flimsy struggle, choosing instead to give in to the feeling. Her eyes half-closed and she ground her hips against his erection, making his jaw drop and his tongue flick out over her rosy flesh.

"Hey! Get a room!"

Another car sped past them on the empty road, evidently from behind them. Akane looked away from Kazama, suddenly ashamed; his reaction was much the same. She squished herself against the door until he moved back to his side of the car and then settled herself into her seat, buckling her seatbelt once again.

There was a long silence before one of them finally spoke. Kazama was the first to talk again: "I shoulda' asked him where the nearest hotel was…"

"I don't think this is a good idea," Akane replied in a monotone voice. She didn't know what to think…how was she going to explain this to Subaru…

Kazama glanced over at her; she was not returning the look this time. "Huh…well…we're probably going to have to stop again tonight. But then it's just a few hours drive and we'll be there."

She did look over this time. "Another…another night?" she stuttered, visibly concerned. How was she going to take the temptation?

"Yeah," he said, "Sorry. Didn't try to make it that way."

"Uh. That's okay."

"Alright."

----

Hatsumi looked out of the window at the department store, watching for Azusa. After telling him what size clothing she wore, he had gone in to go and buy her some clothes…and he should've come back a long time ago. It had been a simple request: just buy a T-shirt and some jeans. That was all she wanted until she could go and get some things herself. But he probably was getting other stuff as well. _Leave it to a model to take too long in a clothing store…_ she thought to herself, shaking her head.

When he finally came back he carried with him a large bag that looked to be full of clothes. Hatsumi sighed, smacking herself in the forehead as he got in. "What?" he asked, "Figured I'd just do all your shopping for you…since you came here with no money or anything else, for that matter."

He spoke true. She didn't have anything…and if he was the one buying the clothes, he might as well be the one making all the choices. "So, how close are we?"

"I think it's just a few minutes from here," he replied, "We just take that road out north of the city and find the temple. It's right there…closer than it seems." He thrust the bag at her. "I'll close the top. You go get dressed. I won't look, I swear."

The top of his convertible closed slowly and Hatsumi wrestled with her dress as she climbed into the back seat. "You better not look!" she said, pulling on some jeans under her dress. She had learned how to effectively change without showing anything long ago…but she still wanted to be careful. She picked a tank top out of the bag as well and then put it on over the dress, taking off the strapless gown from under the tanktop with ease. She pulled out a pair of flip-flops and then crawled back into the front seat, leaving the huge wedding dress in the back.

"Well, you sure are skilled at that," Azusa muttered.

"Yeah, I learned to change modestly back in junior high…" she replied, grinning at him. He laughed as they took a left turn, heading out of the city.

When the temple came into view, Hatsumi stared in wonder. "It's so beautiful," she sighed, "I'm not sure if I want to take Shinogu away from here anyway…"

"I guarantee that he wants you to take him away," Azusa said, shaking his head, "As soon as he sees that it's you, he will be ready to leave…"

Hatsumi pushed more, trying to find a reason to turn back. All of a sudden she was actually really nervous. "Well. Isn't it hard to stop being a monk? Like, aren't they lifetime vows…or something?"

"I've heard of people leaving before," Azusa said, "They're free vows; you can leave when you want."

Hatsumi nodded. "Mm…alright. Okay. Sounds great then…"

She had a hard time opening the door when they finally stopped at the peaceful temple. Hatsumi was tempted to lock herself in the car when Azusa got out, shutting his door behind him. When he saw that she wasn't following he turned around and knocked on the window. "You coming?" he said loudly, frowning.

"Yeah…I am…" she said, "Just give me a minute."

Azusa rolled his eyes and then went to lean against the front of the car while she thought. And she thought…

This was Shinogu she was about to go in and see. The man that had confessed his love to her after she had thought of him as a brother for almost her entire life. The fact was…it was a little weird. She had tried to be with him before and failed. Would it be the same now? Would he even accept her? Would he be angry? She had no idea.

But, then again…she's always felt safe with him. And this needed to happen. As she'd realized the day before, Ryoki had been controlling her for so long that she didn't even know what her own opinions were anymore. She needed to be unaffected when she saw Shinogu today…and she was. She was completely her own person right now.

"I am my own person," she said to herself, getting up the strength to get out of the car. She repeated it over and over in her head as she walked up the front stairs with Azusa. As he asked where they could find Shinogu. As they were told that he was no longer a member of the order…

"What?!" Azusa said loudly, "Well…do you know where we can find him? Is he living in the city?"

"He's right down the road," the monk said in surprise, gentle even in response to Azusa's rudeness, "Just head back into the city. Apartments on your right. Here…" He took out a piece of paper and wrote down directions and an address. "Yes. Shinogu Narita. Still visits here often…he's just not a member of the temple anymore. But I'm sure you can find him."

They took the directions. And despite how much trouble it had given Hatsumi to get up to the temple in the first place, they took the road back down to Shinogu's apartments. They pulled up in an empty parking space near his building and Hatsumi repeated her mantra to herself as they walked down the sidewalk…up the stairs…and finally, to the door.

Azusa knocked three times and then stood silently, looking down at the piece of the paper. "If this isn't the right one, I swear I'm gonna…"

The lock clicked. Hatsumi gulped. The door opened a crack and then widened to reveal the guy that she'd thought was her brother for such a long time…

Shinogu.

"Azu…Hatsumi…?" Shinogu gasped, "What are you two doing here?"

"We just got hitched and we're looking for a place to stay," Azusa joked, putting an arm around Hatsumi. She glared at him and Shinogu gave him much the same expression. "Kidding," he muttered, drawing back. "No…you tell him, Hatsumi. I'm going to go find us something to eat."

And then he left her. Hatsumi stood there on the doorstep, just staring awkwardly at Shinogu. He put a hand on her shoulder, guiding her in.

They were alone.


	3. Pros and Cons

**Pros and Cons**

----

**Note: **There'scitrus in this chapter. Skip over it if you have to – you'll know where it is.

**----**

"So…"

"Mmhm?"

Hatsumi's short grunt of acknowledgement didn't seem to reach Shinogu's ears, coming out as a barely audible squeal instead. They had been sitting in the living room of his apartment for what seemed like hours but was probably only about fifteen minutes, and neither of them had still said a word. "Hatsumi?" Shinogu said a bit louder, bending his head to try and look through her curtain of hair.

"Yes?"

"I was going to ask you if you want something to drink…"

She nodded, looking up at him as a blush spread across her cheeks. "Oh. Um. Yes…thank you."

She hated how things were between them now. So formal and unfamiliar. _I guess he's the only one to blame…_ she thought to herself _…seeing as he's the one who decided to spring the whole 'I'm in love with you' thing on me and then take off…_

Shinogu walked back in with a glass of orange juice and handed it to her silently before sitting down. "Thanks," she muttered, "I love orange juice."

"We did live together for a few years…I kind of remember that," he answered. She didn't imagine he had known what an awkward effect that statement would have had. He cleared his throat and said, "That hit a sore spot, huh?"

She bowed her head again, putting her glass on the table. "Mm. Just a little."

"I thought…"

"Yes?"

"Well…"

"What is it?" Her voice was soft when she spoke; for some reason her throat just wouldn't work.

Shinogu half-smiled, as if in an attempt to make things a little less awkward. "Well…how's Ryoki?"

"Wow," she laughed uncomfortably, "You're jumping right into things, aren't you…"

"Aren't you married now?"

Hatsumi looked at him, creasing her eyebrows. "How did you know…?"

"Azusa and I have kept in touch."

A million possibilities came out of that. What if Azusa and Shinogu had been scheming to kidnap her the entire time? No…Shinogu was way too innocent to do anything like that. Hatsumi knew that he would have never forced her to do anything…this was all Azusa's doing. She heard Azusa's words echoing in her mind. _Give him a chance to be something else…_

"Well, it's really complicated," she started, and then stopped. Shinogu raised his eyebrows and waited for her to continue. "Um…"

"Look, if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine," Shinogu said, "I don't mean to pry. I'm just a little confused as to why you're here." He lowered his voice and looked away from her, his face tinted pink. "You know that it…it's hard for me. With you here."

Hatsumi gulped. Things were definitely still a little weird, despite his lack of communication with her. She hated to see him so unhappy…but she didn't really know what she could do about it. She still didn't feel like she could give her heart to him, and she was still being pulled back to the city, back to Ryoki…"

"I don't want you to be in pain, Shinogu," she said softly, "I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for Azusa…I'm just at this really pivotal point in my life where I need to figure things out…and I feel safe with you. On some level I think I want to be here with you. You've always helped me figure things out and I just wish…I just wish that things could be the same as they used to be."

"Well they can't."

Her eyes shot up to look at him and she realized that he had a humorless smile on his face. "I think that I was always waiting for the time that I could tell you I was in love with you. That I've been in love with you since we were kids." His eyes met hers. "I can't change that now."

Their eyes both snapped to the door as Azusa walked in loudly with a bag of groceries in his hand. He stopped short, a grin on his face. "Was I interrupting something?"

"No, it was nothing," Hatsumi said quickly.

But Shinogu was silent.

----

"You know I'm going to have to kill you now."

Kazama glanced over at Akane uncomfortably as they walked into the hotel room they would spend the night in, his eyes uncontrollably drawn to her backside. He lifted them up again when she cast an evil glare at him. "And why is that?" he asked, attempting to keep a playful tone.

"Remember? You touch me, you die."

"I'm pretty sure the touching was mutual…"

She bit her lip. "Shut up, Kazama."

He walked closer to her, coming around to back her into the space between the wall and the small table at the front of the room. Akane drew in a sharp breath as he ran a hand through her hair. "A beautiful girl like you shouldn't be with a guy that neglects her so much that she'd jump the first guy she's alone with…you deserve better."

When he bent to kiss her she punched him hard in the stomach, pushing out of the corner and throwing her stuff down on the bed. "If you don't stop acting like that I will make you get me my own room," she hissed, turning angrily towards him. She pulled some pajama pants and a tank top out of her bag, turning sharply towards him. "Now I am going to go into the bathroom and I am going to change. If you dare come in there, I will neuter you myself. Do you understand me?"

He gave her a mock salute. "Yes ma'am…"

Akane promptly pulled her knee up into his groin and walked into the bathroom, leaving him on the floor.

It was going to be a long night.

----

Night approached at Shinogu's apartment.

"So what are our sleeping arrangements for tonight?" Hatsumi asked Azusa under her breath as Shinogu got up to rinse dishes after dinner. Azusa didn't even look at her as he responded.

"Why don't you ask Shinogu if he can put us up here?"

Hatsumi's jaw dropped. "Are you serious?" she squealed, "Azusa, I can't stay here. It's so weird!"

"Well then why don't you go tell Shinogu that?"

"Argh…you suck, Azusa!"

Azusa just laughed at her as she stood up in a huff and walked to the kitchen.

"Oh…hey Hatsumi," Shinogu said as she walked into the kitchen. She replied by raising her hand and smiling. Shinogu smiled back before leaning against the counter top farthest from her. "…things are strange between us now," he muttered.

"They definitely are," she agreed, laughing awkwardly, "I have to say…I was kind of hoping that I would get here and…you know. You would just be my brother again and we would hug and you would give me advice and all of a sudden I would know what to do. Like things used to be."

Shinogu shook his head. "Hatsumi, I already told you-"

"I know," she said, predicting what he was going to say, "I just wish that things could be different."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," he said quietly, "I regret it every day…I think, 'Maybe if I'd have told her sooner, she could've loved me too.' And I know that you're in love with Ryoki…and he cares about you, Hatsumi. He really does. He's probably going crazy with worry over you right now." His voice was barely audible now. "I know I would be."

Silence hung between them, the only sound the TV in the other room. Shinogu finally cleared his throat, moving to close the dishwasher. "I know you came in here for a reason. So what's up?"

Hatsumi looked back into the living room, "Well, I was wondering if you have enough room for us here or if we should go and get a room somewhere." She couldn't just tell him that she couldn't stay here with him. She knew that it would hurt him too deeply.

"I think you should probably just go to a hotel. I don't have enough room for you here and…it would be easier for me if you just left for tonight. It was hard enough living in the same house with you for all those years…"

"Alright," she said softly. Shinogu grabbed her arm as she turned to leave.

"Hatsumi. Please make up your mind soon." He turned away from her, his hands still resting on her shoulder. "If you're not going to give me a chance…to be something else to you…then let me get over you and leave me alone."

She bit her lip; tears pricked at her eyes. But she knew that he was right. "Alright, Shinogu," she whispered, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Hatsumi." His hand brushed hers just slightly as he walked away, and she almost felt a jolt of electricity, the emotions radiating out of him were so powerful. She walked out of the kitchen with some new thought itching at her mind, ready to burst out as soon as she got to the hotel room and settled down to think.

"I love you," he whispered. But she was gone.

Azusa got up when she walked out of the kitchen and picked up her bag only to walk out of the front door. He looked confusedly from the kitchen to the front door and decided to follow Hatsumi out to the car. He picked up his keys and said a quick goodbye to Shinogu before heading out.

----

Akane wanted to explode.

First of all, she was angry. She was so angry that she felt like she could kill her companion with the pen resting on the bedside table. She probably could. She could just get out of bed, pick up the pen, bend over him…

…take off his clothes…

…then gouge out his eyes…

…or maybe just take off her own clothes as well…

_No!_ she thought, _I am in love with Subaru. I AM IN LOVE WITH SUBARU!_

Of course, she could blame Subaru for this whole thing. Three years and nothing but innocent kisses. Innocent hand-holding. Innocent gifts of chocolate and teddy bears.

If Akane was anything, it wasn't innocent.

She suspected that the same could be said of her road trip buddy.

She found herself wondering what he was like in bed…how many women he'd been with…how he could pleasure her…if he had any condoms with him…

_Stop it!_

Kazama hadn't been lying when he had said that she was so badly neglected she would jump the first guy she was alone with. Add to the equation that that guy happened to be an older, hotter, and more experienced man, and it was catastrophic for Subaru. Soon enough he would be out of a girlfriend. And she would be wasting precious time with a guy that she felt nothing but lust for yet again…

Subaru was beginning to seem like a distant dream. The only thing she could feel was the dark heat of the room and the close proximity of aforesaid older man.

She pushed the covers off and pulled her shirt up off of her stomach. It really was hot. Maybe the air conditioner wasn't working? Maybe she was having a hot flash?

_Maybe I'm alone with an extremely attractive guy and I'm not doing a damn thing about it…_

Subaru would never know.

Her mind was only on one track as she got up and straddled Kazama, putting her hands on his chest and waiting for him to wake up.

----

Hatsumi walked quietly out to the car, sitting down and slamming the door before finally letting herself cry.

She couldn't believe that things were so strange with Shinogu now. She supposed that she hadn't really realized how much different things were going to be and how things could never really be the same. She wanted so badly for things to work out. But they couldn't. Not if Ryoki was right.

_I'll be the only one Hatsumi ever loves!_

"Great…now I'm hearing things…" she muttered as she turned around. She could have sworn she'd heard Ryoki's voice…

She watched Azusa walk down into the parking lot and then out to the car. He opened the door with a concerned look on his face. "Hatsumi, are you OK?" he asked worriedly, sitting down in the driver's seat and putting a hand on her shoulder. She sniffed, her eyes red and puffy.

"He told me…he told me that things won't ever be the same…that I need to make a choice…"

"Of course things'll never be the same, you idiot," Azusa said. His voice, though sharp, almost had a soft touch to it. He rubbed her back comfortingly. "And you do have to make a choice. Ryoki will come eventually. Akane will be here soon, with Kazama. You've gotten yourself into this mess and now you have to figure out how to fix it."

She looked up at him, attempting a smile. "I'm pretty sure you're the one who got me into this mess, not me," she said, her voice cracking as she broke into a new wave of sobs. Azusa just laughed, wrapping both his arms around her and letting her rest her head against his shoulder. He wasn't normally the nice type, so it was a little awkward…but he supposed it was alright. "I just…I just wish I had someone to help me decide…Shinogu always used to help me…and now he can't…"

"I'll help you decide," Azusa said. She looked up hopefully at him, starting to smile.

"Pick Shinogu!"

_Nope…no luck there…_

"Look, Hatsumi," he said, smiling apologetically, "There are pros and cons to both guys. I mean, more pros for Shinogu and cons for Ryoki…but you can figure it out."

She nodded, sniffling again. "Thanks, Azusa…"

"Don't mention it. So I guess we're staying at a hotel…?"

----

Kazama's eyes snapped open to see Akane's face drifting over his. He squinted in the dark, trying to figure out if this was real. "Am I dreaming?" he asked her, his voice cracking tiredly.

"No dream," she muttered. She was surprised at herself; her voice was slightly husky and her fingers drifted over what she now realized was his unclothed chest.

He had rolled her over and was kissing her passionately in a second, one of his hands on her hip and the other gripping the back of her head and pulling her closer. Their tongues wrestled in a battle similar to the one that was raging in Akane's conscious at that moment – animal instinct was quickly winning over. Her foot rubbed against his pajama-clad leg rhythmically, moving in the same rhythm as her hips against his. Her entire body tingled in anticipation, her mouth forcefully pressing against his. A sigh escaped her lips – she hadn't felt this good in years.

"So you've finally come to see my reasoning…" he murmured against her mouth, "I told you that you deserve better."

"I guess I do," she said, rolling him over and sitting up, "But we're doing this my way. If I tell you to stop, you stop."

His hot mouth met her jaw line and she groaned, unconsciously pushing her chest up towards his mouth. "Whatever you want," he murmured. His breath tickled her ear and it shot shivers through her. He noticed her push her chest up and one large hand covered her breast. She gripped his back, digging her fingernails into his skin.

"…don't stop…"

"I don't plan on it…" he replied. He flipped her over again to get better access to her chest, kissing closer and closer to the peaks of her chest. His tongue flicked into her cleavage and she tangled her fingers in his long hair, closing her eyes in ecstasy. She barely even felt it as he pulled the neckline of her tanktop lower and lower.

She definitely felt it when his mouth covered her breast.

His tongue was doing things that she had never felt before with any of the inexperienced jackasses she'd been with in junior high. His mouth was hot and wet on her chest and she gripped his head closer to her, her other hand drifting down to his firm backside. Her leg hooked around his and she thrust her hips up into his and he groaned in response, returning his mouth to hers in a searing kiss. She rolled him over and sat up quickly to completely take her shirt off, reveling at the contact of their bare skin when she lay down on top of him again, biting at his earlobe almost too passionately. He didn't seem to notice, becoming even more aroused and slipping his hand into the back of her PJs. He laughed throatily and she could feel the vibrations in his neck. "You're not wearing underwear."

A little voice was screaming in her head that she should stop, but there was another, much louder one urging her on. "No, I'm not," she replied, grinding her hips against his arousal. He groaned, thrusting up into her. "Good God I want you…do you have protection?"

Kazama froze.

"Oh, shit."

"You're kidding me."

Akane quickly got off of him and covered herself with her shirt, which she had thrown to the floor. "You don't have a condom?"

"Crap. Fuck. Shit. You don't have one?"

"No I don't have one you dumbass!" Akane was almost screaming as she turned around and pulled her shirt back on. "My boyfriend is a fucking virgin! Of course I don't…"

_Oh no. My boyfriend._

"This was a huge mistake…" she muttered, "Oh no…Subaru…he'll never forgive me…he'll be so heartbroken…"

Kazama didn't say a word.

----

Hatsumi made a list of pros and cons.

She did Ryoki's pros first. He was in love with her. He had always fought for her. He had protected her from all sorts of bad things.

Cons: He yelled a lot. He was jealous. He was _really _jealous. He had hit her in the past, and who was to say that he wouldn't do it again? He scared her and he stopped her from thinking for herself.

She wondered about him. There was something about Ryoki that just made her…happy. She was just happy with him. But was she? She didn't really know anymore. She was happy now too…maybe she would be happier if she weren't with him.

Was this a matter of being with Ryoki or Shinogu, or was it a matter of being with Ryoki or not being with Ryoki?

What would it mean to be Hatsumi Tachibana? It would mean to be a faithful wife. It would mean that they would have babies and he would go off to work and she would become bitter and cold and-

Shinogu's turn.

He was kind. He was so kind that she always turned to him for help. He was gentle and loving, and he would never disrespect her. He loved her more than anything in the world, and he would never cheat on her out of jealousy or spite…

That was enough in itself, wasn't it?

She soon realized that this wasn't a matter of pros and cons. It wasn't a matter of not being with Ryoki or being with Ryoki. It wasn't a matter of Shinogu or Ryoki.

It was how she felt. And Hatsumi had no idea how she felt. She drifted off that night with a troubled mind. A mind that could not be made up because it had never been allowed to think for itself.

A mind that needed to be free.

----

**A/N: **I hope that was a pretty good update!! Sorry it's been so long…I'm taking an honors history class this year and it's really tough. Not only that but I have a boyfriend that I spend lots of time with and I've been having serious writer's block because my mind is just spent every day when I get home from school!

But there's your update. It's the only fanfic I've update over the break…so merry Christmas and happy New Year!

Please review!

--Kat


	4. LoveLustHabit

**Love/Lust/Habit**

----

Hatsumi was planning to do some soul searching.

She woke up early the next morning, wrote a note to Azusa to tell him where she was, and then took the key to the hotel room and walked outside. She walked for a while, down the street, saw a sign for a nice park, and then walked to the park. The park was very nice. The sun was just coming over the horizon, and Hatsumi stood on a small bridge over a pond and watched the sunrise.

She wasn't really thinking of anything.

Hatsumi had never searched her soul before. She hadn't ever really had any need to, and then she hadn't had time to. She had been a normal girl and then BAM! Boy #1(who has happened to become a male model) comes back to town looking hotter than ever and supposedly falls in love with girl. Then Boy #2 finds out that sister has been buying pregnancy tests and proceeds to blackmail girl into being his woman. And then brother suddenly, miraculously transforms into Boy #3 and is vying for girl's heart. Then Boy #3 leaves and girl gets engaged to Boy #2…

And then she suddenly has time to think.

She'd never been one for thinking.

She looked down at the pond and fixed her eyes on a lotus floating on the water. It, like the park, was very pretty. Hatsumi didn't feel like she fit in here. She was so exceedingly average compared to how pretty everything was here.

She had always felt average.

Maybe that was why she was in love with Ryoki. He had always wanted her. He wanted her more than that smart girl with the big breasts. He wanted her more than her drop-dead gorgeous sister. He wanted her more than any other girl in the whole world…and it was nice to feel wanted by someone.

Perhaps there was a measure of pity there too. She was the _only _one for him. He was deeply, madly in love with her; "madly," being most appropriate for him. She laughed a little to herself and her heart suddenly twisted around in her chest. She missed him. She missed him a whole lot and she wanted to go back to him.

But then…what about Shinogu? Something had definitely happened last night when he had touched her hand. He was in love with her and he wanted her too. On some level she admitted to herself that she was the only one he could love…at least for a while. After all, he had loved her since they were little children and never fallen for another girl. Now that she thought about it, he had never been the least interested in anyone…she never would have guessed that it was because he was in love with her.

What if he _had_ told her sooner? Would they be together now? She thought that it was a very likely possibility.

Feet crunched on the gravel walkway and Hatsumi glanced over to see a girl of average height with dark hair, wearing a mini skirt and a T-shirt.

Wait a minute.

Hatsumi squinted and then her eyes widened as she turned towards the figure.

"Akane?"

The person suddenly looked up and Hatsumi knew it was her sister.

Hatsumi barely knew what hit her when Akane flung herself at her, suddenly starting to sob. Hatsumi raised her eyebrows, stumbling backwards a little and patting her younger sister on the back. "Wow…Akane?" She attempted to pull her thoughts together a little, standing there and just patting the girl on the back. "Um…what…uh…what's wrong…?"

"Ihuh uha baidea…" Akane sobbed in reply.

Hatsumi pretended to understand what she was saying, patting her on the back some more, "It's OK…shh…it's alright…"

Honestly, she was a little offended. She was supposed to be the one with the problems.

----

Shinogu dreamed about the girl he was in love with.

He had thought he'd managed to banish Hatsumi from his dreams…it was the first time she'd been there in months. But here she was again, inhabiting his mind throughout the night to leave him with a troubled mind in the morning.

After that dream last night, he didn't know how he had ever managed to see her every day without confessing how he felt about her, let alone live with her. If she had stayed the night he would have been compelled to go to her, whether she rejected him or not…which he knew she would have.

Shinogu didn't honestly believe that she would be staying with him. Ryoki had such a strong hold on her that she could never love anyone else. He wished she could see through the other man's loving façade and see him for who he really was…which, in Shinogu's opinion, was a self-absorbed, needy, and quite possibly abusive, child. Although he was normally extremely passive, he would kill Ryoki if he ever hurt Hatsumi.

In Shinogu's dreams, there was no Ryoki. Hatsumi had always been his, and they lived in blissful harmony in his apartment. They both went to work every day and came home to be with one another. They traded off making dinner for each other and spent the night in each other's arms.

It would never be that way.

It seemed impossible to make Hatsumi come to her senses and leave Ryoki. Shinogu, being humble, would never admit it, but he honestly thought that Hatsumi's niche in the world was with him. Who was always there to save her? He was. Whether it was Azusa or Ryoki inflicting the damage, Shinogu was there to heal the wounds.

How could she not see that? How could she not love him back?

He wouldn't try to convince her; he wanted her to make up her own mind. He just hoped that Ryoki didn't come too soon…because Shinogu knew that he would do whatever he could to get Hatsumi to come back to him.

And there was no way Shinogu could compete with that.

----

"Fuck. Fuck! FUCK!"

"Ryoki, calm down," Subaru said, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder, "You won't get anything done if you're acting like this…trust me, I'm just as worried as you are."

"Well fuck Subaru. I don't remember your fiancée being carried away by some guy you witnessed trying to rape her. Some guy that has tried to kiss her. Fuck. Don't you fucking dare compare yourself to me."

"How about you let me drive?"

"You want me to fucking let you drive? Subaru, you're a fucking slow driver. You will get us fucking nowhere."

"We already are nowhere!"

Ryoki slammed his fist down on the dashboard, looking out the window. It was true. There was absolutely no sign of civilization anywhere in sight, and he didn't know where Hatsumi was going anyway. But he felt like he had to be doing something…

"We should just go home," Subaru muttered, "We don't know where any of them have gone. We haven't heard of where they could be. So do you have any idea where we should be headed?"

"I'm thinking about it," Ryoki replied, resting his head in his hands.

"I mean…would there be any hints…anything…" Subaru took a long breath, rubbing at his eyes. "I need to find her," he whispered.

"I know how you feel."

Subaru looked ahead of him at the empty road. "I don't trust that guy at all. He…Akane and I…we haven't…you know…made love…and…"

Ryoki raised his eyebrows. "Is it time for confessions or are we going to try and find Hatsumi?"

Subaru frowned. "You have any ideas?"

Ryoki smirked. "Well, I distinctly remember Azusa telling Hatsumi she'd made the wrong choice…"

Subaru thought about it for a minute and then nodded. "Shinogu."

As they drove away, Subaru smiled for the first time since the wedding. "I don't think I've ever heard you say the f-word so many times."

----

Akane took a deep breath, taking a sip of coffee and relaxing back into her chair. Hatsumi glanced around the lobby of the hotel to make sure Azusa or Kazama weren't eavesdropping, then leaned across the table and squeezed Akane's wrist comfortingly. "So what's wrong?" She leaned back, running a hand through her hair. "Sorry…I couldn't really understand what you said back there…"

Her sister looked away, biting her lip. "Well…I…Kazama…"

Hatsumi's eyes widened. "You didn't! Akane-"

"I know, I know!" she said, "I don't know how…I mean." She sighed exasperatedly, planting her coffee back down on the table. "It's like he raped me in reverse."

"What?"

"You know. He…tempted me. He made me do it. It wasn't of my free will." She looked up at Hatsumi, grimacing. "Can I use that as an excuse?"

Hatsumi frowned in confusion. "Please explain."

"Well…it started right after we left."

Hatsumi grimaced. "Oh no…"

"You know he's always liked me. We just flirt. It's harmless."

"I never thought it was harmless."

"Shut up!" Akane whined. "Anyway. We got in a fight. And you know. Fighting. The only way he could shut me up was to kiss me. So he did. And then I was pissed and apparently that turned him on because all of a sudden we're hardcore making out at this stop sign…"

Hatsumi covered her eyes and shook her head. "There's more?" she said, creasing her eyebrows.

"It gets worse," she groaned, nodding. "So…last night. He said we had to stay in a hotel one more night before we got to Shinogu's place. And so we did. And…well…let's just say there was a lot of…tension? in the room. So I got on top of him-"

"You got on top of him!??!" Hatsumi squeaked.

Akane dove across the table and slapped a hand across her sister's mouth. "Yes I got on top of him," she hissed, "And then…well…he has the most amazing body. And I told him, I told him that if I wanted him to stop he had to stop. But…" She rolled her eyes back, sighing. "Damn, I didn't want him to stop…"

"Akane!" Hatsumi said angrily, "What about Subaru?"

"Oh God…what _about_ Subaru? What am I supposed to tell him? That the only reason I didn't have sex with that guy was because he didn't have a freaking condom?" She bit her lip again, tears welling up in her eyes. "Hatsumi…I'm such a whore…"

"No you're not, Akane!" Hatsumi said angrily. "I completely blame Kazama for this. It sounds like he made the first move!"

At this point she was full on crying again. "I just…I tried not to but…damn it Hatsumi, Subaru and I haven't even had sex! Ever! I haven't had sex in three years!"

Hatsumi felt like she could have gone without sex for three years, but she knew that Akane was different. "I'm sorry, Akane…maybe you should talk to Subaru and I guess…tell him the truth…"

"But what is the truth? That I slept with another guy but I want Subaru to forgive me? Or did I sleep with Kazama so Subaru would have an excuse to break up with me?"

Hatsumi smiled weakly, shrugging. "I don't know, Akane…you're going to have to decide that for yourself."

Akane stared at the table for a minute before picking up her coffee and taking another sip. She sighed and looked back at Hatsumi. "And how are you?"

"I'm…really confused," Hatsumi replied. "You know…Azusa brought me here to see Shinogu."

Akane looked at her questioningly. "Why?"

"Well…this might creep you out."

"Now I'm scared."

Hatsumi took a deep breath before telling her. "Shinogu's in love with me."

Akane's eyes widened and then she took a big sip of her coffee. "So I guess that's why he got emancipated, huh? So he could be with you? And he left because…"

"Because I chose Ryoki, yeah."

Akane took another sip of coffee and then put her hand on Hatsumi's wrist. "Look, Hatsumi?" Her sister looked up at her inquisitively. "I love Ryoki…sort of. But…he is a bit forceful. And you've always been so passive. Sometimes it scares me that he's with you. I think he loves you but…I don't know. If I were in your position. I would go with Shinogu."

Hatsumi stared at her. "It doesn't freak you out at all? The whole brother thing?"

"Well I don't know Hatsumi…I guess there was always something off about him, to me. Like it didn't seem like he was really part of the family."

They looked away from each other and Akane took another sip of coffee before speaking again.

"So when are you guys leaving?"

Hatsumi raised her eyebrows. "For where?"

"Shinogu's town? I would love to go with you and Azusa…"

Hatsumi frowned. "Akane. We're in Shinogu's town."

Complete silence.

And then Akane swept her hand across the table, flinging the remains of her coffee to the floor and standing up quickly. Hatsumi stood as well, looking apologetically at the hotel employee staring at them and then back at Akane. "Um…what's wrong?"

"I'm going to kill him! I'm going to fucking neuter him! I am going to take this knife-" she grabbed the plastic knife off of the table, a sadistic glare on her face, "-and I am going to chop off his dick with it. I am going to KILL HIM!"

Then she turned on her heel and stalked up the stairs.

----

Kazama woke up to the sound of the door slamming.

He opened his eyes to see Akane coming towards him with a knife in her hand.

He jumped out of bed, throwing his hands out in front of him as she advanced towards him. "Akane…please…"

"We are in Shinogu's town!" she screamed. She came at him and he grabbed her wrists. She was a bit stronger than he thought and she quickly shook him off, dropping the knife in the process. "We're in Shinogu's town and you made me stay in the freaking hotel with you anyway!" She flung her hand around, hitting him in the jaw and putting him off balance before shoving him down onto the bed. He stood up again, grabbing her wrists with more strength this time. She stilled, glaring at him and glancing satisfyingly at the red welt developing on his cheek. "Care to give me an explanation?"

Kazama closed his eyes, opening them slowly to look back into hers. "Because I'm crazy about you."

He suddenly noticed that her eyes were red and puffy, and then she started crying – it seemed, for the second or third time just that morning. "Do you have any idea how selfish you are?" she sobbed.

Kazama frowned, letting go of her and stepping back. "I thought it was harmless…"

"Harmless?" She shook her head, collapsing on the bed opposite him. "I've been building my relationship with Subaru for years…and you could have destroyed it. You might have destroyed my relationship with the person that means the most to me in the whole world and you thought it was harmless?"

He looked down at the floor, running a hand through his hair. "I'm such an idiot…"

"Yeah, you are," she said, sniffling.

"But I…" he reached over and grabbed her hand and she looked up at him, a look of utter despair on her face, "It's so obvious that you two are going nowhere…and I could make you so happy…like you deserve…"

She jerked her hand away. "How the hell do you know what makes me happy?" she spat out, "I…I don't even know what makes me happy…"

And she didn't know. Had she been happy for the last few years with Subaru? She hadn't been sad…but had she been truly happy? The two of them lived a rather comfortable, boring life. They barely even touched each other anymore. Had all of the passion gone out of her life?

Where had she been all that time? Where had the real Akane gone?

"Let me show you what makes you happy," he murmured, sliding his hand up her arm. Akane's bleary eyes drifted towards his and she saw something that she had been missing for her time with Subaru…something she wanted to have again –

"Akane, are you OK!"

They leaned away from each other, Akane closing her eyes and pushing him away gently. "Put some clothes on," she muttered, "It's my sister."

----

"Do you guys think I'm gay or something?"

"Why would you think that?" Hatsumi asked in confusion. Akane had just recounted what had happened with Kazama as they drove to Shinogu's house for lunch.

"Well, you tell me everything. It's as if you think of me like a girlfriend or something."

"Now why _would_ we think that Azusa?" Akane said bitingly, "It's not as if you're a male model or anything."

Azusa laughed, shrugging his shoulders. "All I'm saying is…I'm a guy, OK? I might just be a part of the other team."

"Yeah, pretty strange we should trust you, huh? Seeing as how you kidnapped my sister…"

"Your sister asked me to kidnap her, Akane," Azusa corrected. Akane stared at her.

"You didn't tell me that part."

"I guess I didn't."

"Well…that changes things then. We need to talk some more."

----

Lunch was awkward.

Hatsumi didn't want to talk to Shinogu. Akane didn't want to talk to Kazama. Azusa tried to keep things light, but the sulkiness won out in the end, and the entire meal passed without much conversation. Shinogu and Akane went into the kitchen to do the dishes and soon her laughter was echoing out into the living room. Hatsumi couldn't help but cast angry glances over at Kazama every once and while, and he quickly left. Azusa soon went into the kitchen as well, leaving Hatsumi alone on the couch.

She couldn't help but feel like they were conspiring in there.

They seemed to be ganging up on her. Azusa and Akane were both on it, as she could now see. How was she supposed to stay true to Ryoki with all these people scheming against him?

She supposed she would know she was supposed to be with him if she could stand up against Team Shinogu.

Akane came out of the kitchen and sat down next to Hatsumi, smiling. "I think you should take a walk with Shinogu."

Hatsumi frowned. "Akane…really I need to think about this."

"Just…talk to him, OK? I'd really appreciate it if you did. And I know he would too. And you probably would too."

"I've heard the whole story –"

"Just do it, Hatsumi!" Akane leaned towards her sister, smiling, "Just give him a chance. Seriously. You two would be so cute together it makes giggle."

Hatsumi looked around Akane to see Shinogu standing in the entrance to the kitchen. He shrugged, smiling a little.

"You wanna go?" he asked.

"Um…" She looked at Akane, who gave her an encouraging nod, and then stood up. "Let's go."

----

They were back at the park at sunset, standing on the bridge and looking down at the lotus floating on the water. "I really hope this doesn't creep you out but…that flower reminds me of you," Shinogu said quietly.

"Are you serious?" Hatsumi said, smiling, "This morning I was just thinking how average I am compared to everything here."

"No…" He brushed a piece of hair back from her face and her skin tingled where his fingers had brushed against her. "You've got layers of beauty. You…I told you already that you're the most beautiful…" he stuttered a little, blushing. "You're perfect," he said quietly.

They had walked for about an hour, and were finally at the end of their trip, soon to go back home. They'd talked about random things…life in general, school, food…and she had found out some things about him that she'd never known before.

And she was starting to like him.

"I'm…I'm flattered," she said quietly.

"No need to be."

They looked back at the small pond and then looked back at each other at the exact same moment. She laughed at the coincidence, but he kept a completely straight face, putting a hand over hers.

"May I kiss you?"

She nodded.

When he put his hand on her chin to guide her lips to his, it was almost as if he was handling a porcelain doll. He kissed her softly and innocently, without rushing at all…going at her pace; kissing Shinogu and kissing Ryoki were two different things entirely. His lips were soft and warm, and she stumbled a little bit towards him, knowing that he would catch her. Her heart skipped a beat when he pulled away and she looked into his eyes.

And then his phone rang.

He slowly reached into his pocket and then glanced down at his phone before answering it. "Hello?"

"Who is it?" she asked.

"It's Azusa." He turned away from her, frowning. "Mmhm. Alright. We'll be there in a second."

She raised her eyebrows. "What's wrong?"

"Azusa's been put under arrest for kidnapping," he said, looking at her suspiciously, "And Ryoki's here."

----

**Author's Note: **Hey guys, sorry if the ending was a little rushed…I just wanted to get it done. I'll try and update soon (I know I always say that), and I always appreciate reviews. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed!

--Kat


	5. Player 3

**Player 3  
**

--

"What?"

"Ryoki's here."

Hatsumi hadn't thought at all that Ryoki would be here so soon. He wasn't supposed to be here so soon. He was going to take her home and they were going to get married and she wouldn't have gotten the chance to think at all. And Azusa was in trouble. Shinogu might be in trouble too. She had to confront Ryoki, but…it wasn't time yet.

She steeled her resolve. It didn't matter if she had wanted more time. The time was now.

"Let's go."

They were at the police station in a few minutes. Shinogu gave her a questioning glance as they walked up to the entrance. "You okay?"

Hatsumi nodded and took a deep breath as Shinogu opened the door for her and she stepped inside.

Azusa was sitting passively in a chair, handcuffed around the back of it. Akane and Subaru were standing in the corner, talking in hushed voices – there were tears on her sister's face. Nobody seemed to notice in the chaos of the police station that they had just walked in.

Hatsumi heard him before she saw him. He just gasped out her name and then his arms were wrapping around her. "Hatsumi…God, I was so worried about you."

"I…I'm fine, Ryoki," she said quietly. His shoulders shook and she frowned, wondering what was wrong with him, before she realized that he was crying. More than crying – sobbing. Her arms went around him of their own accord, and she closed her eyes, soaking in his warmth as she realized how much she had missed him. How was she going to live with herself after just kissing another man? But then…how did she feel about Shinogu now?

Her arms dropped to her sides.

Ryoki composed himself as he backed away from her, as he realized that something was different. That's when he saw Shinogu.

"Arrest this man!" he said loudly. The policemen around them looked up in confusion. "He was involved in my fiancée's kidnapping." When they didn't move to do anything Ryoki raised his voice, "Arrest him now!"

They moved. Hatsumi moved at the same time. "Wait!"

The room seemed to stand still.

"Azusa didn't kidnap me."

Ryoki's eyes widened and she could see that he wasn't angry so much as he was hurt. His brow creased in confusion, in denial of what he knew she was about to say. "Hatsumi…"

"I ran away," she said, "I…I didn't want Ryoki to be angry for my needing time to think. Azusa staged a kidnapping so…well, it was a bad idea. Obviously." She straightened her back, looking at them all defiantly. "I kidnapped myself. You can let Azusa go now. I'm fine."

Azusa wasn't trying to hide his smirk. Shinogu let out a breath of relief behind her. Subaru stared at her in shock.

Ryoki just broke down.

It was as if he just shrunk. His shoulders hunched and he bent his head, hiding his face in his hands. Azusa's smirk faltered, and everyone watched in disbelief as the normally so powerful man lost all composure. "Hatsumi…" he breathed.

Her heart wrenched in her chest. The guilt she felt for letting Shinogu kiss her was nearly overpowering, the guilt she felt for leaving the man who loved her at the alter even more so. She wanted to go to him and tell him that she would go back with him and hold him in her arms again.

But she wasn't done finding herself.

"Miss Narita, we need to ask you some questions," one of the officers finally said.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then turned towards him. "Whatever you need," she said, "Just…please let Azusa go."

"You're dropping the charges?"

"I'm dropping all charges. He didn't do anything wrong. And Shinogu wasn't in on it at all."

Ryoki looked up at her. His eyes were red with what she guessed was probably sleep deprivation and – disturbingly – tears. But his regular look was back on his face. He straightened his shoulders, looking at her angrily. "We'll go right home after you talk to the police," he said, going to leave.

She almost said "OK" like she always did. But then she remembered Shinogu, and almost felt the feeling of hurt radiating out of him. "Ryoki," she said faintly.

He turned towards her, acknowledging her through clenched teeth.

But she looked him square in the eye and said, "No."

She could tell he was angry. He grabbed her wrist and her heart sped up a bit with familiar fear. She saw Shinogu move a little out of the corner of her eye, the look on his face concerned and, foremost, threatening. "What?" he said.

"I need more time to think," she said quietly. Her voice was having trouble coming out. "I need you to let me figure out if I'm really in love with you. And if you truly love me…you'll give me that time."

Ryoki froze. And then his eyes widened and his grip on her wrist loosened. His face flushed in an unfamiliar expression…shame? Then he whispered something to her and walked out the door.

It was only after he had left that she realized it had been an apology.

--

They all went back to their respective hotel rooms after that. Subaru stayed in Akane's room. They decided it would be best if they just left Kazama to work out what he would do on his own.

Subaru hadn't really reacted to the news of Akane's near betrayal…which was what scared her. He wasn't really sad, he wasn't really angry. He was just…apathetic. That night they brushed their teeth and got into their separate beds with few words, mostly just talking about Hatsumi and Ryoki.

That night, Akane was the one who was awoken.

Subaru was sitting on the edge of her bed, holding her hand, when she blinked her eyes open to the light of the lamp. He was looking her in the eyes, some unreadable expression on his face. "You're awake," he said, smiling a little. She couldn't find the actual happiness in his smile.

"You too," she pointed out. She yawned, stretching one arm above her head. "What are you doing up?"

He blushed, frowning. "Um…I haven't been taking good enough care of you, have I?"

Akane frowned as well, getting up on her elbows. "What?"

"I've been inattentive. We don't do anything anymore. We…I…we've never…" He cleared his throat. "You know. I mean, I've just…I've been thinking. And I understand why you would have fallen so easily for Kazama. Because he actually wants you…and I guess it hasn't seemed like I do."

"Subaru…" she said, sitting up all the way, "It's not your fault –"

"Yes, it is," he said firmly. His eyes drifted down to her hand and then his own hand brushed up her arm. He watched it go farther up, swallowing hard as it came to rest on her cheek. She found that her eyes had started to fill with tears, and her hand came up to cover his. They made eye contact again. "If that's what you want…I want to show you…how much you mean to me."

Akane bit her lip, looking hard at him. "You don't have to," she said quietly.

"I want to," he said. He leaned forward awkwardly, closing his eyes, and she did the same, their lips meeting a split second later.

His other hand moved to her shoulder, and they just kissed for a moment. Akane felt awkward all of a sudden. She could tell that he was nervous. She pulled away from him. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

He pulled something out of his pocket: a condom. "I bought this on the way to the hotel," he said quietly, "I want you to be mine, Akane."

She nodded and gently put a hand on the back of his head. "Let me show you," she whispered.

They kissed again and she teased his lips with her tongue, eventually getting him to push his own into her mouth. She invited him to do more and he let his tongue move around, exploring her mouth; she leaned back and he followed, placing the small package on the bedside table.

A moment later she pushed his shoulders back gently. "You can put your legs in between mine, if you want," she murmured. He simply nodded in reply, pulling his legs up on the bed and then letting her wrap her legs around his waist. He sucked in a shaky breath; she could feel that he was ready for her. But there was still her tanktop and shorts in the way, his t-shirt and pajama pants. He looked her in the eye and then kissed her tentatively again, and then firmly, pressing his lips to hers and letting his tongue move in her mouth. A shaky hand was placed on her thigh, and then slowly moved up to hold her bottom. Her hands moved of their own accord, going to the hem of her shirt and pulling it up to show her love something he had never seen before.

His eyes widened and he looked at her for permission before closing a hand over one breast. She sighed as he rolled one nipple experimentally between his fingers and then pushed her chest up when he carefully kissed her other breast. She made sure to give a groan of approval as his tongue flicked out tentatively.

And then he suddenly stopped.

She opened her eyes and sat up quickly as he got off of the bed, looking at her sadly. "What…what's wrong?" she said. She was out of breath from their foreplay, letting her chest stay bare.

He wouldn't even look at her.

"Subaru…?"

"I keep thinking of _him_, Akane," he murmured, his voice coming out strangled. She knew exactly who he was talking about, and she felt a knot well up in her throat. "When I touch you…all I can think about is…did he touch her like that? Did she make those same sounds when he had his hands, his mouth right there?"

"Subaru, I thought –"

"I thought so too," he said, looking her in the face. He looked at the floor again just as quickly. "Akane…please put your shirt back on…I can't…I can't do this. I'll go home tomorrow. I can't. I just can't. I don't know how I can be with you when I'm so inadequate, so inexperienced…"

"You're not –"

"I know I am," he said quietly, "You don't have to lie." Then he got back in his bed, turned his back to her, and turned off the light.

He ignored the sobs from the other side of the room until he finally drifted off, his heart already too hurt to feel sorry about it.

--

"I feel like drinking something."

Azusa gave Hatsumi a wry grin as they sped through the dark back to the hotel. "You feel like drinking?"

"Yeah, I feel like drinking," she said. He laughed at how funny it sounded to hear her innocent voice saying something like that.

"You wanna go somewhere?"

"Sure," she replied, "This is just…way too weird. I need to check out for the rest of the night. You get to be the not drunk one though. So you can drive back to the hotel."

"Okay," he said, "That's fine by me. It's not as if I got arrested today or anything…"

"Oh yeah…sorry…"

"I was just picking on you, Hatsumi," he said, laughing, "To a bar?"

"Yes, please."

--

Ryoki didn't know what to do.

He had found a local bar and decided to drink his worries away. Subaru had gone off with Akane. Well, at least that was better than what Hatsumi was doing. Hatsumi was with Azusa. Ryoki was wondering why the fuck Hatsumi was with Azusa.

"She's a slut," he slurred. The bartender looked at him sympathetically.

"Your girl left you?" he asked.

"She left me at the alter," Ryoki muttered, "Ran off with an ex. Staged a kidnapping. I'm fucking pissed. I'm so fucking pissed…I'm…" He put his bottle down on the bar. "I'm sad. I'm fucking depressed."

"You seem pretty torn up."

Ryoki nodded in agreement. "I don't know if I can live without her. I've been in love with her for years…"

"I'm sure you'll find another girl."

Ryoki took a swig of beer. "There have been other girls. But none like her."

"Sounds like a great girl."

"She is…but I don't think she knows how well I think of her." Ryoki shook his head. "She's beautiful. But I don't ever tell her. She's kind and loving…and I don't ever let her know." He took another swig of beer. "I'm such an idiot."

"You'd better be on your best behavior if you want her back."

"I try…but I just get so mad sometimes…"

The bell on the door rang and Ryoki turned to look.

Hatsumi.

And Azusa.

Blind rage welled up in him and he suddenly realized that getting drunk was probably not the best course of action. He rose from his stool and just barely saw the bartender wince as he figured out what was going on.

Azusa moved before he could take a swing on him, grabbing Hatsumi and pushing her forward. This just made Ryoki angrier. "Get your hands off of her!" he yelled.

"Ryoki?" Hatsumi said in confusion. Azusa pushed her behind him.

"Calm down, Ryoki," Azusa said, "You are drunk. You need to go home and sleep it off."

"Let me talk to him!" Hatsumi said, pushing Azusa aside. Ryoki grabbed her arms immediately, looking her in the eye.

"Hatsumi, please…I need you…"

"Ryoki, you need to wait. And you need to calm down. This isn't Azusa's fault…"

"But you would turn to him instead of talking to me? Damn it, Hatsumi." His grip tightened on her arms and Azusa looked between the two of them alarmingly. "Come with me."

Azusa stopped him as he took her by the arm and started to lead her out. He brandished his cell phone at them. "I will call the police if you take one step further. Now give me Hatsumi. We're leaving."

Ryoki gave him an intense glare and then his grip on her loosened, his hand finally dropping to his side. Hatsumi quickly walked over to Azusa, and the two of them walked out the door.

"You need to leave," the bartender said from behind him. "I've already called a cab. Now get out of here."

So he did, wondering if it would be better to just walk out into the busy street instead of waiting for his car.

--

Hatsumi was sobbing by the time they got back to the hotel. She flung herself onto the bed, muffling her crying in the pillow. Azusa stood at the door, crossing his arms. "It's not your fault," he said.

"Yes it is!" she choked out, sitting up, "Look at what I've done to him…I led him on for so long…what if he can't get through this? What if he does something stupid? I should've just gone with him…"

"So he could've done something stupid to _you_?"

He walked closer and knelt down, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Hatsumi, I was scared of what he might do to you if you went with him. He could've hurt you. He already did! Look!"

She looked down at where he had been gripping her arm to see a bruise developing in the shape of a large hand.

"I wasn't about to let him do that. To hell with him. He could've hurt you. He _would have_ hurt you, Hatsumi. What happened to the girl who was going to decide her own future?"

"It's too hard," she murmured, looking down.

Azusa lifted her chin up to look her in the eye again. "No, it's not. Just screw 'em all. Make up your own mind."

She bit her lip, nodding, looking him in the eye.

And then she leaned forward, and he pressed his lips to hers.

They pulled away from each other slowly. Hatsumi closed her eyes, turning her head away from him. "I don't know why I did that," she said quietly.

"You didn't do it. I did," he replied. He put his hand on her face and turned her head back to him, kissing her again. Again, they pulled apart only after a few seconds.

"But you're the only one who doesn't want anything from me…" she said.

"Are you sure _you_ don't want something from _me_?" he said boldly, "Hatsumi, we never got our chance to be…to be together. And this doesn't have to mean anything."

"I thought you were on Team Shinogu," she said weakly.

"Maybe I'm on my own team," he murmured. He pushed her back slowly, settling himself on top of her and leaning over, holding himself up on his elbows. And although she knew she should resist, she found herself unable to do so. They never _had_ been able to actually be together…and she had felt strongly about him at one point in her life. Maybe he had felt the same way, and he had just been so consumed with taking revenge that he hadn't been able to explore his feelings…

"I loved you once," he said, proving her theory.

She swallowed hard, her breath quickening and her body tingling in anticipation. "I…loved you too," she whispered.

Then he was kissing her, hard. She let her hands roam over his muscled torso, shoulders, back…she had never been with any man other than Ryoki. And Azusa was undoubtedly beautiful. He had that lean physique that so many women lusted after, a clear, compelling face, and a charming personality to match. Any woman would be attracted to this man.

When she came to her senses for a split second she found her fingers unbuttoning his shirt and then pulling it off of his shoulders as he leant down to suck on her neck. She could tell he was skilled at this…he wasn't as rough as Ryoki, and there was a smooth sensuality in everything he did as he prepared to make love to her. As his kisses trailed lower and lower…over her collar bone…down towards her breasts…she realized that her shirt was open as well. She wanted to remove it from her shoulders so that he could kiss her in more places…everywhere. His breath was hot on her chest, his mouth soft, as he moved her bra aside and slid his tongue over the peak of her breast. She gasped, writhing under him, and she could feel him smile against her skin. Every inch of her was on fire, especially where his mouth touched and where her legs joined together. She wanted him to remove all of her clothes, kiss every part of her, touch places where only Ryoki had ever been allowed to touch. She wanted him, Azusa, inside of her, where only Ryoki was permitted to go.

Ryoki.

She knew that this had to stop before it went out of hand, but it felt so good. Her hand was tangled in Azusa's hair, her mouth hung open as she savored the feeling of his mouth on her breasts. He, too, had to know that she couldn't do this. That if she slept with him now she might as well have made her decision.

"Azusa…" she groaned. Her voice squeaked as he grazed his teeth over her nipple and he chuckled throatily.

"Don't worry about it…this doesn't mean anything…" he murmured.

_Oh, yeah…_ she thought, and allowed him to continue his ministrations. If it didn't mean anything then it was –

He put his hand in between her legs and all train of thought was cut off.

She thrust her hips into his palm, curling her fingers on his back and in his hair. Ryoki had never touched her like that.

His fingers deftly unbuttoned her jeans and then undid the zipper, allowing him to slide his fingers into her pants, the only obstacle between his hand and her core her thin underwear. A self-conscious thought crossed her mind that it was probably pretty wet down there and that his fingers were going to get all sticky, but she didn't really care. Whatever he was doing felt insanely good. She thought she might lose her mind, it felt so insanely good. She tried to undo his pants as well, the desire to have something else touching her down there driving her.

"Hatsumi?"

She stopped short, and Azusa craned his neck towards the door.

"Get off of me!" she squealed, "It's Akane!"

She quickly did up her pants again, and then buttoned her shirt. She fixed her hair hurriedly, turning back towards Azusa. "How do I look?"

He looked amazing. His muscled chest heaved as he gathered himself; his pants were partly open, revealing a line of hair going…down. His unkempt orange hair was even more disheveled than usual.

She wanted nothing more than to take her clothes off and be back in his arms.

He grinned at her. "Should I hide?"

"Please?" Hatsumi said breathlessly.

He got in his bed and pretended to be asleep as Hatsumi opened the door.

Akane had her arms crossed and her eyebrows shot up when she saw Hatsumi. "What are you up to?" she asked.

"Nothing," Hatsumi squeaked.

"Where's Azusa?"

Hatsumi stepped aside helplessly as Akane walked in and glanced around the room. She nodded approvingly when she saw Azusa in bed. "Can we talk?"

--

They ended up each clutching a cup of tea and sitting in two cushy chairs in the lobby. Both of them settled down before Akane gave Hatsumi a skeptical look and said, "So why was Azusa's shirt on the floor, Hatsumi?"

Hatsumi blushed. "You know. Guys. They're so messy."

"Where'd you get that hickey, Hatsumi? I'm assuming it's not from Shinogu."

Hatsumi bit her lip, looking away from her sister. "I'm an idiot…"

"Azusa? Come on, Hatsumi…"

"He kissed me first, and I used to…I used to think I was in love with him, Akane," Hatsumi said, "But now that I think about it…" She looked up, sighing. "This does make things a bit more complicated."

"Why don't you just add Kazama and Subaru to your list too?" Akane muttered angrily, frowning.

Hatsumi stared at her, concerned and…offended. But she didn't tell her that. "Akane, what's wrong?"

Her sister just started crying.

"It's Subaru…" she said quietly. "He…he tried to have sex with me tonight and he…"

"Oh my God, Akane," Hatsumi said, her eyes wide, "Did he hurt you?"

"No, you idiot!" she said, smiling weakly, "He…he took off my shirt. And then he told me that he couldn't do it. Because he kept on thinking about 'him.' Like I was…like I was dirty or something…"

"Oh Akane…"

"You know, Hatsumi. That's the only reason I'm being such a bitch to you." She sniffled, rubbing her eyes, "I'm always the one screwing up. You _never_ mess up as bad as I do. I totally screwed up my relationship with Subaru…it's over…"

"Are you sure you even want Subaru?"

Akane looked up, bursting into a new wave of tears.

"I don't even know."

--

**Author's Note: **I hope that wasn't too sexy. OK, it was supposed to be. If you were offended, this might not be the fanfic for you…there are sure to be many more limes and probably a few lemons. I don't want to put in warnings because I feel like it ruins the plot.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed. Please review!

--Kat


	6. Where the Heart Is

Where the Heart Is

There was a man in Hatsumi's bed.

This wasn't just any man. This man was a former male model. This man was Hatsumi's first boyfriend. This man had just had his hand down the front of Hatsumi's pants, and he was supposed to be in his own bed. But he wasn't. He was in hers.

And he was awake.

He had called out a hello from her bed when she entered the room, and she could see the lower half of his body under the covers. Of her bed. She stood at the door, pondering what she should do with this man in her bed. She could leave. She could stay in Akane's room. In fact, that might be a good idea. But she didn't know where Akane's room was, and curiosity was driving her to go back into the room and find out what Azusa was up to. Deep down, Hatsumi understood that she knew what he was up to...but she still wanted to know.

"Hello?" he said inquisitively, sitting up. His hair was tousled and...Hatsumi gulped. Wow. She didn't understand what she had done to get this sort of attention from so many people, but she wasn't sure if she actually disliked it. She wondered if Azusa would look like that after spending a night with a woman...preferably herself... "Oh, there you are." He smiled, and she just sort of gaped at him. His eyes widened in concern. "I freaked you out, didn't I..."

Hatsumi managed to nod her head once, tearing her eyes away from the perfect male in front of her. "Um...yes. Yes you did."

"Fuck." He ran a hand through his hair as a dirty thought raced through her mind at hearing that word. "Hatsumi, I'm sorry. I got carried away."

"No, it's okay," she said, turning and leaning on the table so she could face the wall and not Azusa. Her voice was far too squeaky, but her attempts to control it were unsuccessful. "I...um..."

His hands were on her hips all of a sudden and she took in a sharp breath. He chuckled. "You what...?" he murmured against her ear.

"Ah..." Now his mouth was on her earlobe. Oh no, not this again... "Aah...Azusa!" She squeaked out his name finally, turning and pushing her palms against his chest. She was able to move him far enough away that neither his tongue or lips could reach her, which her mind was telling her was a good thing. Her body disagreed. She avoided his eyes as she continued. "I am having a very tough time already. You need to back off and give me some space. Do you want to make this harder on me?"

Azusa shook his head - she could tell because she was intently watching his ear, which was actually unfairly attractive...for an ear. "Of course not. I'm trying to get you to relax."

He just barely stroked a finger against her wrist and she shuddered involuntarily. "Aaaaah...zusa..." she whined, "I...um. You know..." She blinked twice, hard, and then flung her hands up, waving them around in front of her. Her tactics worked and he backed off of her. "Azusa. Doing...that...does not help me relax. Because we would do...that...and then I would wake up and think, 'Oh, I just did...that...with Azusa! That's no good because the only person I've ever done that with is my fiancee.' Seriously, Azusa. I am innocent. Before tonight nobody had even touched me...there...before..."

Azusa lifted my chin up to look me in the eye, and she could see the humor in his expression although his features were set seriously. "It is my firm belief that you should have a sample of everything before you decide what you want. It's like trying on clothes -"

She gaped at him. "You are not comparing That to clothes."

He nodded. "Yeah, I am. Because it's not all that important. You're just sampling."

Hatsumi tried not to consider this train of thought, failing miserably. Maybe this was exactly what she needed. But how many samples was too many? She didn't want an entire rack of samples because the hangers always weighed down your arm if you got too many...but she didn't really need all that many, did she? She had it narrowed down to two.

Three now?

Or were there more?

This was all so confusing! She hadn't had any choices before, and now the world seemed to open up to her. Hatsumi wondered if Azusa had learned all of this stuff while he was a model. _T__hey probably have orgies all the time at model school_, she thought absentmindedly. She didn't really notice as Azusa crept closer.

But she certainly did notice when he put his hand back on her hip.

"So would you like a taste?" he said.

What was supposed to be "yes I would" ended up as "yaaaarr" instead.

He kissed her and, Kami, he tasted good, she thought to herself. He probably tasted better than Ryoki and Shinogu combined. Of course, her mother would have told her that it didn't matter how attractive they were, it was whether or not they would make a good husband. But Hatsumi didn't care.

Knock knock knock.

They pulled away from each other abruptly as Akane's voice pierced through the door.

"Hatsumi! I thought it would be better if you stayed in my room!"

"Ignore her," Azusa muttered, and then leaned back in for another kiss. Hatsumi's mind was muddled, and she could barely remember what was going on...

"Azusa Odagiri!" her sister's sharp voice came again, "I will neuter you if you touch my sister one more time."

Azusa laughed and backed away, leaving Hatsumi to fall down on the ground. He just chuckled and backed away. "I'll just go over to Shinogu's. It's no big deal."

It took her a moment to get her bearings, but when she did she quickly scrambled up to answer the door. Akane was glaring at her, completely aware of what had been going on.

"You come with me," she said shortly, "Now."

Hatsumi's mind willingly obeyed while her body fought to stay in the room.

--

Subaru's bed was empty and his things were gone when Hatsumi got to Akane's room. "So I guess..." she said as she gathered her thoughts again.

"Yeah, we don't need to talk about it," her younger sister said shortly "I'm going to bed. You should too." She dead-bolted the hotel room door, though it automatically locked from the outside. Hatsumi looked at her questioningly and Akane explained. "Just in case Kazama comes back."

"Do you think he will?"

"Definitely. I think he probably went out to get drunk and vent and that he'll be back soon. Maybe tonight."

They dressed in their pajamas and brushed their teeth, then went back to the room. Hatsumi got in bed and nestled into the covers while Akane did the same and turned off the lights.

"Hey Akane?"

"Yeah?"

"I always used to wish I was like you...with boys."

Akane laughed humorlessly. "I bet."

"But I just realized..." Hatsumi continued, "It's really hard."

"Yeah, it is."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," the younger muttered, "It's easier before you fall in love."

--

By the time the morning came, Hatsumi had almost put from her mind the events of last night. Unfortunately, they all came rushing back the minute she got out of bed...and they left her even more confused than she had been before.

Akane was still conked out and Hatsumi sat awkwardly on the edge of the bed as she tried to figure out what to do. She had two options; she could wake up Akane and lean on her sister for help - or have her sister lean on her, considering how things were going. Or she could go and work out her problems on her own.

But how was she supposed to do that?

She now had three choices, each of them completely different but each of them equally enticing...in different ways. Ryoki was intensely loyal to her, and had protected her from people who wanted to hurt her ever since he had gotten the notion that he wanted her to be his "slave." Despite the fact that they had a bit of a rocky history, Hatsumi really did love Ryoki on some level.

Shinogu had always protected her as well, if even more fiercely. He had loved her for years, but kept it a secret because he thought that it was in her best interest not to know about his feelings. He was always so careful around her, and he had an infinite amount of respect for her.

And now, Azusa...well, he was hot. Hatsumi smiled a little and then realized how crass that thought had been. Although, it was true...and Azusa had been so understanding of her in the past week. He had a good sense of humor and was pretty good at cheering her up.

The only thing these three men had in common was that they were all in love with her in addition to being extremely attractive.

There was no way this was happening to this girl.

Never in her life had Hatsumi dreamed that she would have this problem. She was starting to realize that the reason she was with Ryoki was because she had never realized that there might possibly be other people out there that would ever be attracted to her - the saying "there are other fish in the sea" had always seemed like a falsehood to her. But maybe there were other fish after all. There might even be more than three fish for her. What if there were other fish she hadn't even discovered yet?

The thought scared her to death. She was already confused enough, what with having kissed all three of them now and done a little more with Azusa and a lot more with Ryoki. Maybe she should give them all a chance at that before she made a choice...

"Hatsumi. You're blushing."

Akane was staring pointedly at her sister, her hair mussed up from sleep and a cranky look on her face. Hatsumi grinned, giggling awkwardly and scratching her head innocently. "Oh...uh, was I? That's funny..."

Akane smiled mischievously. "What are you thinking about..." She raised an eyebrow. "Or should I say 'who?'"

Hatsumi frowned and bit her lip before she replied. "I'm thinking about...everyone. All of them. All three of them." She suddenly buried her face in her pillow, squeezing it tightly. "Akane, this makes things so much more complicated!"

"Sorry to break this to you but things were already complicated," Akane muttered. She stared at her older sister for a minute, frowning. "How far exactly did you get with Azusa...?"

"Well, his hands...they were...everywhere. All over. And we were trying to get each other's pants off when you interrupted us..."

"I have to say I'm pretty shocked, Hatsumi," Akane said, "I never thought you would let someone get into your pants that quickly. You've always been a bit of a prude..."

"Akane!" Hatsumi squealed, "He...he's very convincing. He said that it wouldn't mean anything and I...I believed it. I would still be in that room, probably with no clothes on, if you hadn't interrupted us. And honestly..." She stopped, looking away in shame. "I almost wanted to be back there when I woke up this morning."

"I don't see why you wouldn't just sleep with them all."

Hatsumi gasped, her eyes widening. "Do you have any idea how hurt Ryoki would be if I did that? That is out of the question. If I were to do that, I might as well just tell Ryoki that I don't want to be with him."

Akane made eye contact with her. "Maybe you should."

The long silence was broken by the sound of someone opening the latch on the door. However, the knob turned and the lock held true on the door as the dead-bolt did its work.

"Akane? Akane, can I please come in?"

They looked at each other and then Akane sighed, smiling humorlessly. "Go and do some thinking on your own, sis. It's time for me to figure out my own problems."

--

Hatsumi's feet carried her back to her room. She needed a change of clothes, anyway, so she had justification.

Azusa was not in the room; she wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. She would have loved to talk things out with him and try and remind him that he was, indeed, on Team Shinogu, but she knew that he probably would have been able to talk her out of that discussion and then out of her clothes. She also wasn't sure if that wasn't what she wanted. She grabbed a change of clothes and then quickly began to put on her outfit.

She had just taken off her top when the door opened.

Hatsumi spun around, covering her chest.

"Azusa?" she squeaked.

"No."

The guy behind her sounded just as mortified as she herself was. And the most humiliating thing was that she recognized that voice. "Shinogu...?"

His voice hardened, although she wouldn't have noticed if she didn't know him so well. "Were you expecting somebody else?"

How did he know? Did he know anything? Her eyes widened. Had Azusa told him? She was a terrible liar, what was she supposed to say? "Um. Well. Azusa...he has been staying here."

"I was coming to pick up you and Akane and Azusa asked me to pick some stuff up for him in his room, said you were staying with Akane..."

"I was changing."

"Oh."

They both stood there, Hatsumi clutching her bra to her chest as a blush started to embarrassingly spread over what seemed to be her entire body. "Well...um. Now you know..."

"I'll..." She glanced over her shoulder and saw that he had turned around, so she hurriedly pulled on the undergarment and leant over to grab her shirt off of the bed.

And then she felt a hand lightly rest on her shoulder. Her skin tingled, and she drew in a sharp breath. She could feel Shinogu's warmth pressing in behind her, getting closer to her. His hand was shaking as he brought up his free hand and put it on her other shoulder. She gulped. "Shinogu?" she squeaked.

"Hatsumi...I...I'll go..."

She thought fast. Why don't you just get a taste of them all? a naughty, unfamiliar voice said in her subconscious. This was her chance, if that was going to be her course of action. When would she catch Shinogu being so dishonorable again? Never.

This was it.

She put a hand on his and rasped out, "You don't have to go."

Hatsumi turned around tentatively and bit her lip as she looked up at him. His eyes were dark and the look on his face almost scared her. She'd never seen him look so...out of control...before.

He leaned down slowly to kiss her, almost as if he was afraid it wasn't really happening, but the pressure on her lips quickly got more desperate. His tongue pushed into her mouth and he gripped her arms urgently, his breathing speeding up. Hatsumi suddenly remembered the last time they'd been in this situation, and her heart remembered the pain of Ryoki's betrayal. She returned Shinogu's kiss fervently, almost angrily, just as she had done that night.

"Hatsumi..." he murmured against her ear as he kissed her cheek, her jaw, her collar bone.

This brought back far too many memories, and it was reminding her of Ryoki. The Ryoki who had always cared so much about her, the first man that she had really, really loved. Hatsumi couldn't just make the past few years go away, and those years were the ones that she had spent as Ryoki's fiancee.

But then, Shinogu had cared for her even longer. And here he was, with her, and she could feel how much he cared for her in the delicate yet passionate way that he touched her, his embrace just hard enough to incite lust but not enough to hurt her.

She needed to find out more about this sort of love, but how could she do it without betraying Ryoki?

Her conscience wrestled with her heart even as she gripped Shinogu's neck and pulled him closer to her, eliminating the little distance between her body and his. Her body was reacting to this attention, even if a piece of her mind was telling her to bring this to a stop.

There was no way to do anything with Shinogu without betraying Ryoki. That was something that she knew for sure.

"Wait," she said, gasping for breath as she pulled away. Shinogu, true to his nature, immediately stopped, stepping back from her.

"What?" he said, his eyes wide, "I'm sorry...did I hurt you?"

"No, I..." She noticed him averting his eyes and she remembered her state of undress, leaning over to pick up her shirt and put it on. "I...I have to tell you two things."

There was no way she was going to tell him about Azusa. But she knew she was. She was going to confess to him that Azusa had kissed her, had done a little more than kiss her. She was also going to tell him that she had been thinking about Ryoki and that she needed to figure things out before she did anything with any of the others.

If she had been Akane, she might have gone ahead and done...it...with Shinogu. With Azusa last night. Maybe with Ryoki again (although, if she were Akane, she probably would have dumped Ryoki long ago). But she was not Akane. She was Hatsumi. And Hatsumi was far too honest and virtuous to keep anything from them or to lead them on.

She sat down on one bed, and Shinogu sat down on the other. He looked at her expectantly as she bit her lip and began.

"Well, the first thing is...I'm not sure if Azusa is on Team Shinogu."

--

"I'm really sorry, Akane."

Akane was in much the same position with another guy right now, in another room. She sat on her own bed, out of reach.

"Last time I checked, it was me who got in your bed, not the other way around," she said.

"But I shouldn't have kissed you in the first place," he said, "I should've respected that you have a boyfriend and just let you be...but it was too hard. I couldn't do it because you are this amazing girl. And you don't get nearly as much love from that kid as you should."

Akane stared at him for a moment, frowning. "Where have you been this whole time?"

He shrugged. "I got a room somewhere else. Thought a lot."

"Well I think we've established that it was my fault. You don't need to blame yourself. In fact, I should probably be thanking you for not having a condom with you..."

"You know I wasn't planning on sleeping with you if I didn't have any protection," he said.

"I don't think of you as the scheming type," Akane said, smiling a little. "I think you're horny and I'm hot."

"I think you've got it right..." he said, grinning sheepishly. His face grew solemn quickly though. "So I guess that Subaru..."

Akane nodded. "He was here. And since I'm...since all I can do is use my body to communicate with people - he tried to sleep with me and I went along with it gladly because I thought it meant he'd forgiven me." She covered her face with her hand. "He couldn't make himself touch me because he kept on thinking about you. And he left this morning."

"I'm sorry -"

"Don't be," she said sharply, "There's obviously something wrong if all this is happening. I did this to myself. Don't feel guilty."

She glanced over when she felt his weight sink into the bed next to her, and his face was full of sympathy. "But this means you won't be doing anything with me."

"No," she said, laughing even as she started crying, "I'm going to lay off the guys for a while."

He smiled, nodding. "Okay." He patted her on the shoulder. "I'll be waiting."

--

"What do you mean by 'Azusa's not on Team Shinogu'?" Shinogu asked, frowning at Hatsumi's words. She was suddenly extremely nervous, and the words froze in her throat. What would he do if she told him?

"Well. Um. Last night - I was upset when we got back here because I had a run-in with Ryoki and he was drunk and scary."

"What? You saw Ryoki? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," she said quickly, but almost wished that he would get preoccupied with Ryoki and forget she'd ever mentioned Azusa. "We got out of there fine...I'm fine. Seriously."

Shinogu nodded and then looked at her inquisitively.

"So what about Azusa?"

She took a deep breath. "Anyways...I was upset. And Azusa...well he kissed me -" Shinogu looked at her incredulously and she looked away from him, continuing with her gaze directed at the floor. "...and then we did a little more than kiss. Not much. A little. Okay, more than a little. But not a lot."

Hatsumi was rambling and she knew it, but she didn't think there was much more to say. She was expecting Shinogu to respond but he just sat there as she stared at his shoes. He wasn't moving and he wasn't speaking. This wasn't good.

"I don't know what to say about that."

She was relieved that he had finally talked, but unsure of whether she should be relieved by what he said. "Are you okay?" she said meekly.

"I don't know."

He suddenly took out of his phone and dialed a number. His eyes narrowed when he spoke to the person on the other line. "You don't want to be there when I get back." The phone beeped loudly as he turned it off and shoved it in his pocket, standing quickly.

"Where are you going?" she asked, staring up at him.

His eyes met hers and he could see the pain there. "This obviously isn't working, Hatsumi. Please just go home."

--

Where was home?

Hatsumi had no idea.

It seemed like her heart was in several places at one time. Ryoki had a large portion of it, as did Shinogu. And she now realized that, after the tenderness Azusa had shown her in the past few days, he had a little piece of it too.

Home was definitely here at the moment. But Ryoki would leave soon, she knew. He would leave, expecting her to follow, out of anger and spite. But would she follow? She wasn't sure yet. And Shinogu...Shinogu talked about "home" as if it was nowhere near him. He was angry, and Hatsumi didn't know what she was going to do about that. Because her mind was wavering between those two men - the one she'd loved for years and the one that had loved her for even longer. Azusa had a small part in this too now. So what was she supposed to do?

Who had she been when she had boldly left Ryoki at the altar? Certainly not the Hatsumi that was now panicking over this new development. If anything, she needed to stay calm so she could keep on trying to figure things out.

There was a timetable for this. This wasn't an occupation; this was a full-on battle, and it had to end sometime. The combatants were all going to start fighting dirty soon, and she didn't think she wanted it to escalate to that level.

A thought crossed her mind: what if she just left them all?

But she knew that her destiny was here. The man she loved was somewhere in this mess, she just couldn't figure out who it was yet.

Her phone rang and she looked at it hopefully, not sure whose name she wanted to show up on the called ID. However, it was just Akane.

"Yeah?"

"Hatsumi...I need to go home."

A glimpse of fear flickered through her chest but she nodded, answering accordingly.

"Okay. I'll work this out on my own. I'll be fine."

"Good luck." Her sister choked up a little on the other line and Hatsumi felt herself tearing up as well. "I know this sounds weird, but I'm proud of you. Maybe you're not such a wimp after all."

"Maybe not. I'll see you in a week or two, hopefully."

"Okay. Bye, Hatsumi."

"Bye."

She shut the phone off and almost physically felt the loss of her only confidant in this ordeal.

But it was better this way. Hatsumi had always had someone to lean on, and it was time that she started standing up for herself and making her own decisions, on her own.

She told herself again that it was better this way and got up.

It was time to give Ryoki the chance to argue his case.

--

A/N: Sorry I didn't update sooner. I couldn't figure out exactly what to do with it after I added Azusa to this mess.

Reviews would be lovely. :) And I'm currently taking suggestions as to who she should end up with...I'm clueless myself.

--Kat


	7. Odd Man Out

Odd Man Out

Hatsumi made herself sleep that night. She would need it for what she was about to do. Hopefully this wouldn't be too dramatic or stressful or painful...but knowing her luck, it was likely to be all three. Because she had decided that it was time to send one of these men home - as she mused, she matched up her three choices to the three negative aspects of tomorrow.

The drama would definitely be with Ryoki. She had never known someone who was so likely to fly off the handle over something that could be handled calmly and quietly. Everything was a big deal to him, and he was always jumping to the most extreme choice for whatever problem he went up against. If she decided to dismiss him, she was sure there would be a lot of yelling, a lot of threatening, and many attempts to convince her that she was wrong. She could hear his voice now, accusing her of stupidity and misjudgment. Unfortunately for Ryoki, she would not be told anymore that she was stupid. That tactic would not work on her again.

Azusa represented the stressful side. He had caused an immense amount of grief by jumping on the let's-fight-over-Hatsumi train, and he didn't really seem to care. She didn't think that he had planned on it - the original conditions of her kidnapping had been only that she had to spend time with Shinogu. So what had happened? Must be that she was some sort of magnet for trouble. Azusa was a freaking male model; it wasn't fair that she should have to deal with this choice as well. That particular choice was the one that made her feel like her brain might just implode from all the stress before this thing was over.

Dismissing Shinogu would be painful. Hatsumi could visualize the look on his face when she told him that she had not chosen him - the look of pure defeat that she had seen when she had thrown herself at him after Ryoki had tried to make her jealous, when he realized that she was in love with somebody else. He had been so badly hurt before, and she hoped that she wouldn't have to do that to him again...but nothing was clear enough right now to be able to figure anything out.

She knew that she was going to hurt someone the next day, but it wasn't about them. It was about her and how she felt. This commitment could be one of the life-long variety, and she wasn't about to throw this choice away by choosing the man that would be the most hurt if turned down (although, for Hatsumi, this would always be a factor). Throughout her life she had been told that if one partner wasn't happy in a relationship, the other wasn't either; therefore, se needed to be happy in order to make whoever she chose happy.

She needed to choose the one that she wanted.

Hatsumi squeezed her eyes shut, pulling the blankets tight around her shoulders. There was no use in over-thinking things.

--

Ryoki tapped his fingers on the table, anxiously awaiting his bride-to-be. Hatsumi had called him the night before, and was on her way now to meet him at the restaurant and go back home so they could get married. Ryoki smiled as he thought of seeing her again, this time without a certain male model getting in his way. Now he could tell her how he really felt about her, unhampered by any outside influences.

His heart skipped a beat when she walked in the door, so shy and unassuming. She didn't realize how beautiful she was. Manners taking over, he got up and pulled out her chair for her. "You look beautiful," he said, smiling.

"Thanks," she said, giving him a nervous response. Ryoki suddenly remembered when he'd last seen her - he might have hurt her without realizing it.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Are you?"

Ryoki laughed, taking a sip of tea. He let the herbal mixture wash down his throat before speaking again. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" Her stare made it seem like he should have known why he wouldn't be. This was starting to seem a little too good to be true... "You did come here to meet me so that we could go home...right?" He glanced at her empty cup; she hadn't poured herself any tea.

She bit her lip, looking away from him, and then forced her eyes up to meet his. "Ryoki, do you think I'm stupid?"

The information didn't quite get to his brain. He stared at her in shock for a moment, and then put down his tea, frowning. "Of course not..." he said. Was there a right or wrong answer to this question? Had he said the right thing? What did she expect him to say? Was she asking if he thought she was stupid in regard to school...to life? She needed guidance, that was for certain. But at the moment it didn't seem like that was what she wanted him to hear.

"You make it seem like I am."

This was totally unexpected. Where had this new Hatsumi come from? The Hatsumi he knew had been quiet and complacent, the perfect wife. She was the type of woman that would never be like his mother, delicate rather than robust. He had fallen in love with that Hatsumi. Where was she now? "I'm sorry if I've ever made it seem like that," he said, "Hatsumi, what's wrong?"

"I have more questions for you," she said, cutting him off and ignoring his question. She was deathly pale. Had someone forced her into this? "Why do you love me?"

Ryoki was flabbergasted. If he had expected to be bombarded with questions he could have prepared himself, but he had fully believed that she was ready to come home now. Could it be that she was going to leave him here if he gave her the wrong answer? Fear shot through his chest.

It couldn't be.

"Ryoki? Are you going to answer?" A tear popped out of the corner of her eye. "Why do you love me?"

His voice cracked when he opened his mouth, and he cursed himself for the show of weakness to a woman who needed him to be strong. "I love you because...you're everything I've ever wanted in a woman. You are beautiful. And you do the cutest things. You're shy and quiet...Hatsumi, what's this about?"

She didn't answer; she just nodded and then scooted her chair back slowly, rising from her seat. "That's all I needed to know. Thanks."

She made for the door - Ryoki jumped up to follow her. "Wait, Hatsumi!" As if in a daze, she turned and looked at him, her eyes cloudy and unreadable. "You're just...you're just leaving?"

"Yes...I'll talk to you again soon."

He didn't stop her again. But he did watch as she got in the car and drove away...and then he got in his own car and followed her route.

--

Hatsumi dialed Azusa's phone number as she drove away from the restaurant, putting the phone to her ear and waiting for the male model to answer. When the answering machine picked up she hung up and headed towards Shinogu's house. She needed to talk to him, even if they weren't going in the order she had planned.

She took a deep breath; she didn't need a plan in order to do this. It was just men anyway, men that she had known for years. This shouldn't be a problem, right?

It was obvious that Shinogu was not okay when she pulled into the parking space next to his car, where the automobile had been parked crookedly and haphazardly in the large space. It was uncharacteristic of him; she imagined he had probably come home from her hotel the day before after finding out about she and Azusa and hadn't gone out since.

Music blared through the door as she knocked on it two, three, four times. No response. This was really putting things out of order...she had planned on talking to Azusa first and then Shinogu. Now she couldn't get in touch with either of them.

She put her hand on the door knob, wiggling it experimentally. It moved slowly, and then she felt the latch slowly click out of the frame. She pulled the door open, walking into the dimly lit room.

Shinogu was stretched out on the couch, one arm over his eyes and the other wrapped around a pillow. His mouth was just slightly open, and the look on his face told Hatsumi that he had fallen asleep. The TV was on the news with subtitles, and rock music blasted out of the speakers placed on either side of the entertainment center.

She walked quietly across the room, tiptoeing by the guy who used to be her brother to turn down the radio that was probably irritating to a sleeping human being. Then she searched for the power button on the TV, looking around for the remote at the same time.

"Hatsumi?"

A gasp escaped her throat; Shinogu was sitting on the couch now, staring at her with sleep-heavy eyes. "You fell asleep with the music on," she said meekly, "I just thought I'd...turn it off. But now that you're up -" She took a deep breath. "I need to talk to you."

He moved over, patting the other end of the couch with one long-fingered hand, and she nodded, going over to sit next to him.

"I just talked to Ryoki," she said, starting off looking him in the eye. She found herself unable to do so, his dark gaze was so piercing. "Anyway...I just talked to Ryoki. And I asked him why he loves me. So uh...why do you love me, Shinogu?"

He rubbed the back of his hand over his clouded eyes, looking away from her as well and then making a bold move by taking her hand in both of his. She looked at him, her eyes finding his forehead and staying there. "Do you understand what a difficult question that is, Hatsumi?"

She frowned. What do you mean?"

Shinogu chuckled, more bitterly than anything else. "You cruel girl...I love you for every little thing. I love you because you're so humble even though you drive all the men around you crazy wanting you. Because you haven't realized yet that you're not weak. Because you care more about your family than you do anyone else, and you would do anything for them. The list goes on." A drop of wetness fell onto her hand and he realized that it was a tear - Shinogu was crying. "Please, Hatsumi. I told you to leave me alone."

Her resolve was fading. Yes, she had told herself that she would choose who she wanted and not who would feel the worse if she left them. But Shinogu was looking good in both regards right at that moment. He was attractive, kind, intelligent, and completely devoted to her. How could she want anyone else?

What if she just decided now? What if she just decided that she wanted Shinogu. Once she told Ryoki that she had had sex with another man, he wouldn't want her anymore anyway. She could be with Shinogu easily...Azusa would get over it. He wasn't all that committed. Ryoki would find some other woman.

Shinogu got up, leaving her alone on the couch, and turned up the music once more. He turned around, his shoulders hunched, unable to look at her. "I would like it if you would leave now."

She gulped. "Can't we talk some more?"

His shoulders were shaking, whether from grief or breaking self control she couldn't tell. She was about to get up and leave until his eyes found hers and locked onto her face.

His long legs brought him back to the couch swiftly, and suddenly he was leaning over her, holding himself up on the back of the couch. His face was just centimeters away from hers, emitting hot breath onto her lips. "I can't talk anymore," he said, and then crushed his lips to hers. She responded, letting him put his hands on her hips, even encouraging it with her body. She moved against him, making it easier for her shirt to ride up around her waist, for those fingers to skim along the inside of her belt.

He moved his mouth to her neck and they shifted awkwardly from leaning on the back of the couch to lying down on it. His tongue flicked out against her skin in pure passion, like he was trying to cover and memorize every inch.

This was different from the other two men she had been with. With Ryoki, it had been like he needed something from her and that was all. With Azusa, it had been all about making her feel more and more aroused, purely physical. But this...the energy was so strong. With every time he touched, she could feel something akin to an electric spark on her flesh, something stronger that desire or lust. This was romantic passion. This was what it felt like to be kissing someone who was completely and utterly in love with you.

He held himself up on his elbows and looked into her eyes, making sure that it was okay, although she wasn't sure if he would ever be able to tear himself away at this point without hurting himself physically or mentally.

She immediately nodded.

For the look in his eyes had made her decision for her. He would die without her, and she could see that. He had been dying ever since he had left her in Ryoki's care, but now the emptiness in his eyes that she had seen when she and Azusa had arrived had been replaced with a beautifully burning fire. She could recognize it from when they had been trapped in the elevator - something wild and uncontrolled that made Shinogu seem more alive than he had ever been before.

He ground his hips against her and she could feel his desire for her, and she wanted it. She told herself that it wasn't just that she was wrapped up in the heat of the moment, but it wouldn't have mattered anyway. The mixture of the loud music and feel of Shinogu's muscular body radiating love told her that it was time to let go everything else.

Her fingers found the hem of his wife-beater, pulling it up over his head when he lifted himself up, almost like he had read her mind. His hands gripped her scalp like she was what was keeping him afloat in a turbulent ocean - like he would be doomed if he let her go.

It was an amazing feeling to be loved like that.

He scraped his teeth over her collar bone and she brushed her fingers over a pebble-like nipple in response, getting a groan out of him. She looped one leg over his knee, grabbing at his shoulders and yearning for there to be no more barriers between them. She wanted her jeans gone, his jeans gone, their skin touching to make them one.

And then a hand gripped Shinogu's shoulder and pulled him off of her. She reached up for him as he was shoved across the room, but then she was brought back to her senses.

"What are you doing here?" she screamed. She had to stop him before he hurt Shinogu. His fists were clenched and he was hitting him over and over again...

"Ryoki, stop!"

All of a sudden both men were tumbling across the room; Shinogu had grabbed Ryoki behind the knees and slammed him against the opposite wall. Blood fell on the carpet and Hatsumi froze as the rest of the world went on. They kept on fighting and she couldn't stop them.

"Please, stop it!"

Her cell phone was in her hand in a moment, dialing a number. "Azusa. Please. Come over to Shinogu's."

"Are you okay?"

"Please just get over here!"

"I'm already here."

The door opened. Both the dark-haired man and the light-haired stopped.

Wonderful. This is exactly what she needed. An all-out brawl. Shinogu landed a punch on Azusa and then they were all yelling and fighting and ripping and clawing -

"STOP IT!"

This was going too far. She walked forward, grabbing the shoulder closest to her, which happened to be Shinogu's, and he flung himself around. The force of it knocked her backwards and she stumbled, hitting her head on the end table by the couch.

If they could have pulled off a collective gasp, they would have. Everyone froze. Shinogu looked like he would just die of guilt right there, Ryoki stared at the aggressor accusingly, and Azusa just looked confused, his eyes jumping back and forth between the two others.

Then they came back to the real world. Azusa walked forward, putting a hand on her shoulder. Her head felt fuzzy and there was a sharp pain in her temple, but she thought that she was okay. "Hatsumi, are you okay?" he asked nervously. Ryoki started screaming at Shinogu as the other man just stood there staring at her. "Hatsumi?"

"Oh...yeah, I'm fine." She picked her hand up and put it on the aching spot on her head, then dropped it again when it stung. "Ouch..."

"Hatsumi, is that blood!"

"What?" She looked at her hand. "Oh..."

--

An x-ray and three stitches later she found herself blissfully alone in a hospital room while the nurse went to go and get her "friends." She was still processing the fact that all three of them had just started fighting...that Shinogu had hurt her. Never had she thought that things would get violent here. Ryoki - maybe - but she would have thought that Shinogu would stop the fighting as soon as it started. And for him to through a punch at Azusa like that? It was totally out of the blue to Hatsumi.

They were all angrier than she had expected.

Ryoki came in first, his eyes wide with fear. His hand found hers as he sat down in the chair next to the bed. "Are you okay?" he asked

"Yeah, I'm fine...don't worry about it," she said. It hadn't been that big of a deal; she had asked the nurse not to let the three of them in because they were too panicky as she had gone through getting the x-ray and stitches. "It was just a few stitches."

Ryoki frowned. "Just a few stitches...Hatsumi, he could have really hurt you. I can't believe you're okay with this."

What was he talking about? "Who...what do you mean?"

"Shinogu. Don't worry, he went home. He knows what he's done and I plan on making him pay for it...I called my lawyer and -"

"What?!" She sat up in the bed and her head swam a little but she kept her gaze locked on his. Her voice started squeaking as she continued. "You called a lawyer! Ryoki..."

How could he have done this? The whole thing was his fault, after all. She figured he must have followed her from the restaurant to Shinogu's house, let himself in of his own accord, and caught the two of them together...

On some level, she was glad he had been there to stop them because, after that show of force on Shinogu's part, she wasn't sure if she wanted to be with him after all. Azusa had been so tender and so worried when she had been hurt, while Shinogu had just stood there as if he was in shock. And he had just left her at the hospital, and that hurt.

But what authority had Ryoki felt he had to follow her to Shinogu's apartment and to walk right in? It was almost disturbing...and none of this would have happened if it hadn't been for him starting to hit Shinogu.

"Hatsumi?" he said, squeezing her hand.

She jerked away from him, tears threatening to pop out of her eyes. "This is your fault!" she squeaked, "What right did you have to send him away when this is your fault?"

"What?" he frowned, "What do you mean?"

"You followed me to Shinogu's house -"

"I was worried."

"- and then you let yourself in -"

"I couldn't hear what was going on -"

"Stop interrupting me!" Her head was aching at this point, but she needed to get her point across. "Ryoki, you have caused all sorts of trouble since you got here. You hurt me too, that night when I saw you at the bar! When you told me why you loved me, all you could say was that I was meek and beautiful. I don't think you really know me, Ryoki.

"I need you to leave."

He stared at her, pulling back from the bed and running a hand through his hair. It took him a minute to figure out what he was going to say. "So this means..."

"Yes. This means that I want you to go."

The look on his face made her want to take it back, but she knew that she was making the right choice. Ryoki needed to get out of the game and find himself someone that actually fit his ideal for a wife.

He put his face in his hands, his broad shoulders hunching as if he was trying to disappear.

"Go home."

His agony dissipated as he stood up and left the room, slamming the door behind him. Hatsumi leaned over, wiping her eyes with her palms as what she had just done set in. Her body heaved with sobs and she was suddenly thankful that Ryoki had sent Shinogu and Azusa away. It was embarrassing that she would show such strength only to collapse.

But there were still things to do. She still needed to make the choice between Shinogu and Azusa and it wasn't going to be easy. On some level, she was beginning to think that Azusa was better for her than Shinogu, but she knew that it would be too hard on Shinogu for her to just leave him. She needed more time to think, but her head was fuzzy...

The doctors had told her that she couldn't sleep, so she just lay back in the bed, looking around the room.

That's when she saw him.

"How long have you been in here?" she asked, looking pointedly at the spy.

"Since before you sent Ryoki away." Azusa walked over to the bed and she turned her face away from him as he sat down. "You handled it really well, actually."

"I don't need to hear anything from you right now," she said angrily, turning her entire body now.

He sighed indignantly. "I didn't throw the first punch."

"But you didn't stop them either." She groaned. "You're all to blame. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to choose when you all suck?"

"You know I can convince you that you should choose me."

She glanced back to glare at him, and then rolled over. "Why did you have to make this even harder for me?"

Azusa sighed, looking down at his hands clasped on his knees. "I wasn't planning on it...but I could never forget how kind you were to me when I first came back to town. I didn't realize that what I was feeling for you was...what it was...until I kissed you the other night. I wanted to do right for you by bringing you back to Shinogu." He looked up at her, smiling. "But what can I say? I'm selfish."

Hatsumi couldn't help but smile. Most girls would give anything to be in the situation she was in now, with three attractive men - two, now - fighting over her. Both Shinogu and Azusa were sweet and cared about her a lot.

"You're only making this harder."

"I know. That's my intention."

She laughed, wiping some fresh tears from her eyes. "So when can I get out of here?"

"The nurse said you can leave any time as long as you go home and rest. Anywhere in particular that you want to go?"

In all probability, she really did need rest, but there was somewhere she needed to go first.

"Could you do me a big favor and be selfless for just a little while?"

Azusa smirked. "It will only be more endearing."

It was true - she was starting to lean in that direction. "Could you bring me to Shinogu's house?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I need to tell him I'm okay."

Azusa nodded. "Sounds good. I'll leave while you get dressed."

"Thanks."

He left the room and she grabbed her clothes from a table by the bed, quickly changing out of the hospital gown and looking in the mirror to fix her hair.

A bruise swelled out over her forehead, an angry red and purple stretching beyond the swelling and out of the bandage. She knew that under the bandage was a macabre image of ruptured skin and stitches.

Shinogu had done this to her. Despite the fact that it had been an accident, he had still been the aggressor and she the victim.

She pulled on her coat and headed towards the door. This needed to be resolved.

--

A/N: Hey guys, it's been a long time! Hope you liked this chapter...it's finally starting to come to an end. I know it was a little short but I feel like there was enough action to just finish it off there.

I've been getting reviews in favor of Azusa and Shinogu, but I'm just not sure who she should end up with yet! I get these ideas and write them in and then change my mind about who she'll choose. Trust me, this is as suspenseful for me as it is for anyone else.

Reviews are always nice, and I might just update sooner if I get a sudden influx of reviews...so push the button and go! You don't have to say anything substantial if you don't want to, just tell me what you think!

--Kat


	8. Fun and Games

Fun and Games

Ryoki was gone.

Hatsumi felt like it was that day just a couple of weeks ago when she had left him at the alter, cruising down the road in Azusa's convertible on the way to Shinogu's apartment and wondering if she had done the right thing. But this was different - at the same time that it was more final (and therefore more intimidating), it was also a bit more comforting. She needed to choose someone, and it had been made obvious to her that that choice would not be Ryoki.

"How long was I in there for?" she asked, puzzled at the sight of the setting sun.

"Four, five hours. You know...waiting for doctors, waiting for x-rays."

She nodded. "Guess I lost track of time."

Azusa glanced over at her, grasping her shoulder for a moment. "I wouldn't expect anything else. That was...quite an ordeal. I'm sorry."

She gave him a weak smile. "You should be."

"Hey...I was only trying to stop them."

"It didn't look that way from where I was standing."

He didn't say another word. Hatsumi figured he could tell now that she was just as angry at him as she was at anyone else...because he had only made things worse.

But he was being incredibly kind and charming. Could she ever forget about what he had tried to do to her when he had first come back into her life? She imagined she could. But wouldn't that be a betrayal of the new Hatsumi?

'The new Hatsumi'...life was much more difficult when you were two different people.

--

They reached Shinogu's house all too quickly. Hatsumi's thoughts were still jumbled and her head hurt from overuse, not to mention her bruised temple. Azusa looked at her anxiously, and she glared at him in reply; he looked afraid.

"You know that it was a complete accident when he threw me like that."

Azusa nodded. "Yeah, I...I know. That's not what I'm afraid of."

She tilted her head to one side, giving him a questioning expression. "And what would that be?"

"I think I already know what your decision is going to be."

Now she understood - he thought that she would decide to stay here after talking to Shinogu. She was, for the most part, convinced that this wasn't true, but it made sense for Azusa to be worried about it. Apparently she was a little more valuable than she had ever believed. "Would you be okay if I decided against choosing you?"

It was the perfect opportunity for him to manipulate her - to tell her that he "wasn't sure" or that he "might never get over it" if she stayed with Shinogu, guilting her into getting together with him.

But he didn't.

"I think it would be easier for me than it would be for Shinogu, if he was the one being left," Azusa said.

Hatsumi smiled sadly at him. "I think you're right."

A couple seconds passed in silent as she prepared herself to talk to Shinogu. He was probably completely torn up over hurting her, and time was of the essence if she wanted to save him from going over the edge. But she just couldn't make herself get out of the car.

Alright. This was it.

She forced her hands to open the door, and ordered her legs to hold her up, turning around to say one last thing to Azusa before she went in. "I can't believe you got me into this mess."

He grinned.

"I'm pretty sure you were the one who asked to be kidnapped."

The walk up to Shinogu's door was just as long as it had been the day they'd arrived. She wondered if he would be surprised to see her again, and if he would be just as stand-offish. However, the first time she had been here she was hoping that they could just be best friends again.

This was no longer the case.

The line between siblings and lovers was much less pronounced between them than she had thought. She realized that, had they truly ever thought of each other as siblings only, none of this would have happened. She never would have even considered falling in love with him.

She knocked on the door.

Was she in love with him?

The door cracked open, and then the chain came off of the door and Shinogu was examining her face carefully without coming anywhere near her. "Hatsumi...you're alright."

"Yeah," she said quietly, trying to make eye contact with him. He avoided it well, his eyes darting from her bandaged head to the ground. "I know you didn't mean to," she blurted out, trying desperately to make him feel better about this. "It was really my fault...getting into the mix like that..."

"Don't talk like that," Shinogu said sharply, "That mentality was what was so wrong with you and Ryoki...it's never your fault when someone else hurts you."

"Ryoki's gone."

Now he looked her in the eye. "What do you mean?"

"I sent him away. I decided that he wasn't good for me."

A flash of hope shone in his eyes, but she could see him pushing the emotion away. "Hatsumi, I've hurt you too...I'm not good enough -"

"It's between you and Azusa," she said shortly. And the hope was gone. Hatsumi imagined that Shinogu had the same fear: that she would choose to be with the other man.

"Well, you don't have many good options," he said, laughing bitterly. "We've all done something to hurt you."

She grasped his free hand, staring at him. "It wasn't your fault."

They stayed like that for a moment, his hand warm in hers. They both broke their gaze, looking at their clasped hands instead, and Shinogu spoke again, his voice barely audible. She wasn't even sure if it was his intention for her to hear him.

"I wish you wouldn't treat this like a game."

Her stomach writhed uncomfortably and she pulled her hand away. "Just wanted to let you know I'm okay," she said, "I'll see you...later."

He nodded in agreement but she was already walking away as he said one last thing. "I'm glad I didn't hurt you too badly."

Hatsumi frowned as she got back in the car.

"What's wrong?" Azusa asked.

"He keeps on insisting that he hurt me," she said, buckling her seatbelt. Azusa started the engine, driving out of the parking lot. "Even though it really wasn't his fault."

"I actually agree with you," Azusa replied. Hatsumi groaned; he was playing the nice guy again.

"Azusa?"

"Yeah?"

"What is your life like?"

He shrugged, smiling. "It's fast. I like to travel, visit new places. Meet new people."

Hatsumi smiled as well. That seemed like the perfect life for the new Hatsumi.

But was it what she really wanted?

She didn't know yet.

--

Home was blissfully boring. Akane had spent the previous day trying to clear her head so that she could figure out what to do about Subaru. She didn't know if he had found out that she was home yet, or if he would want to see her if he did know. She assumed that he did not want to see her, after their last encounter.

Did she want to see him? She wasn't sure. Akane felt like she was ready to start branching out again and trying new things - college would be here soon enough, and she was going to start a new life - but there was something holding her here that she just couldn't shake off, no matter how hard she tried. Even if she had been angry and decided to get together with Kazama out of anger, would she have been able to forget about Subaru?

The answer to that question was a resounding 'no.' She would not forget about Subaru. He had been a part of her life for too long to blow him off now.

But he was such a child in her eyes. Would their relationship progress if she kept on with it? Was it coming to a natural end that had just been inflamed by her infidelity?

Too many questions.

Everyone was out of the house this morning, so Akane got up late in the morning, fixing herself a bowl of cereal and flopping down on the couch for some channel-surfing. She had just found something that she was actually interested in watching when the phone rang.

She debated whether she should pick it up or not, and decided on the former. It could be Hatsumi, after all.

"Akane?"

Yeah, it was Hatsumi.

"Yes?"

"They're not making this easy!"

Akane frowned. "Tell me."

Hatsumi filled her in on the day before, describing in detail her meetings with Ryoki, Shinogu, and Azusa. "I almost called last night but I got back from the hospital too late..."

"Whoa, what? What about a hospital!?"

Hatsumi's voice got much meeker as she explained. "Well, I got a little caught up in the fight and Shinogu accidentally flung me against a table...I had to get some stitches but everything's fine now..."

"Hatsumi, why didn't you tell us you were in the hospital? You should have called us -"

"I was a little busy," Hatsumi said, her voice growing, "Busy sending Ryoki back home."

That distracted her. Akane quickly got off the subject of the hospital. "So you decided that it's not him? That's good...so, one down, one to go. And then you will have your answer."

Hatsumi took a deep breath and then replied. "Akane, I wish you wouldn't talk about it like that."

"Like what?"

"Like it's a game."

Akane shook her head. "Hatsumi, they've all fucked up with you. They deserve whatever treatment you decide to give them. Let's just say that the one last standing is the one most committed to you."

"That's not fair, Akane."

She snorted. "Why not?" Ryoki is an abusive bastard, Azusa tried to set up a group of guys to gang rape you, and Shinogu hurt you badly enough for you to have to get stitches!" She chewed her lip. "Can't believe he did that though...he's normally such a gentle guy, you know? It was an accident, I'm sure."

"Of course," Hatsumi said hastily, "He would never hurt me on purpose. Besides, it was Ryoki who threw the first punch." She paused for a moment. "So how are things at home?"

Akane sighed. "Well, Subaru hasn't come to see me yet...I'm just taking my time trying to sort things out."

"That's good," her sister agreed, "I think I'll take some time to do that as well."

Akane smiled. Even though Hatsumi was technically older, she had always seemed like a little sister. She was so much more innocent and, well, cute. "Okay. Go think."

"I will," Hatsumi said, "Good luck. Say hello to everyone back home for me."

"Yeah. Bye, sis."

--

Hatsumi did take some time to think. She took the whole day, in fact, putting the phone on silent.

She spent the next day thinking as well.

The room got stuffy and she went out to explore town a little bit more. She meticulously avoided any place where she thought she might find Azusa or Shinogu, and hoped that neither of them were getting into any sort of trouble. With Azusa, she found that unlikely, but at least she knew that Shinogu was probably staying indoors.

In her time alone, she thought about what it would be like to travel around Japan...around the world...all by herself. She had never really spent that much time by herself, moving from her own house to Ryoki's after graduation. What would it be like to go to college? To be a single woman and to live with no one but a goldfish...or no one at all?

She wasn't sure if she liked that idea, but it was starting to seem more appealing than choosing between Shinogu and Azusa.

Both of them were great guys, and both had treated her with respect for the most part. But she knew Azusa's passions were shifting all the time, and she knew that he had only been "in love" with her for a matter of days. Would his feelings change again? Would hers?

Shinogu, on the other hand, was constant and stable. He had loved her for years. She didn't know if she could ever feel that strongly about him, or anyone for that matter.

They both had their positive sides and their negative sides. Who should she choose?

This trip had turned into so much more than choosing who she wanted to be with. This was a search for the new Hatsumi, and a journey to discover what this Hatsumi's future would be like. She could choose Azusa, who would likely take her on all sorts of adventures, and would show her so much of the world...

Or she could choose Shinogu, who would be there for her and never let her down. And he would be so happy, making her happy too.

It was at that moment that she found her wandering had led her to the park where Shinogu had kissed her just a few days ago. And just up the path was a hunched-over, dark-haired figure staring into the pond.

It seemed like a sign that he should be here now. He was actually supposed to be working right now, but instead he was at this park, where she had just happened to be walking through. He hadn't seen her yet; she still had a chance to walk away and do some more thinking before she decided. She didn't want to put him through anymore pain by talking to him now if she was just going to end up with Azusa. Adventurous, exciting, loud Azusa...

"Hatsumi!"

Oh no. He had seen her. And now he was walking towards her, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans. Hatsumi managed a smile easily; she actually was happy to see him.

She wanted so badly for things to be normal with them again.

He was smiling, for once, and it almost seemed like they were best friends again. And yet, there was something more, something tugging at her heart and pulling her towards him. She took a couple steps forward, and then a few more to meet him halfway.

They stood awkwardly, and then Shinogu cleared his throat.

"You've really dropped off the radar for the past couple days."

Hatsumi nodded. "I've been thinking."

He didn't press her about her decision, instead looking intently at her. "Hatsumi...I'm really sorry I hurt you. And I just wanted to tell you that I'm..." his eyes left hers, "...I'm leaving town tomorrow. I've decided that it's best if I just...make your choice for you."

Her jaw dropped, and she stumbled to find the right words. "Wait. What? You're leaving. No, you can't do that -"

His hands gingerly touched her shoulders, as if he might break her, but he was careful not to let her see his eyes, letting his hair hang over his eyes. "It's for the best. I can't keep doing this. You can't keep doing this. It's better if I just...go."

She flung herself at him out of impulse, wrapping her arms tightly around his broad torso. "No! Shinogu, you can't go! I don't want to lose you again...you're my best friend...and I think..."

But those two words - "best friend" - had already finished it. He pulled away, walking briskly out of the park. She didn't have the time or energy to catch up.

And she hadn't even been able to finish what she was saying.

--

Akane wasn't expecting a knock on the door.

She looked down at herself. Her PJs and tank top were covered in crumbs from the toast she'd just been munching on, and her hair was probably a mess. She hoped it wasn't anyone she needed to keep up appearances for, wondering who it could be as she looked through the peephole.

A meek, dark-haired young man stood outside, looking at the floor with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

Subaru.

Akane jerked the door open, her heart thudding in her chest. Subaru glanced at her and then studied the ceiling. "Did I come at a bad time?" he asked quietly.

Her throat clenched. "You've seen me like this plenty of times before," she said, frowning, "Come in."

He walked in slowly, finding a place on the couch and staying perched on the edge, not getting comfortable. "I think we need to talk about...this week."

She sat down next to him, not trying to keep her distance. "I'm so glad you want to talk about it as well. I need to apologize...I'm so sorry and I really hope -"

"Akane," he said, cutting her off, "I think it's time for us to, you know...break up."

The words hit her like a ton of bricks. Sure, she'd been expecting it on some level, but that didn't mean that it hadn't hurt. "You're breaking up with me?" she asked, "But...I know that what I did was wrong, but..." she put her face in her hands. "I guess I really do deserve this."

Subaru put a warm hand on her back, and she couldn't help but think about how those hands might not ever touch her again, other than in a friendly way. "It was just time," he said, "It just wasn't working anymore."

She felt him get up off of the couch, but she didn't look up.

She didn't want him to see her crying.

A sudden rush of memories flooded her. The rare bears and their first kiss. Her dressing up to go to a Con with him.

They had made many compromises to be together. And all of that was for nothing now.

She couldn't wait for her sister to get home so she could cry on her shoulder.

--

Shinogu was absolutely right. Hatsumi's choice had been made for her.

She packed her things, making sure she had all of her stuff before she left the hotel room where she had almost made love to Azusa.

The sun set on her second day of thinking with her final choice made for her - but she realized that she, too, had helped make this choice. All the events of this past week had led her to one destination, and it made sense now that she should do what she was doing at this very moment.

New Hatsumi thought she might want to see the world, but the real Hatsumi had to maintain some part of herself. She didn't need to entirely remake her personality, but rather just needed to tweak it so that she could find true happiness. And despite the fact that she had thought it was only about her feelings, there were others involved as well. Hatsumi, at heart, was a very caring and compassionate person, and she couldn't just let other people get hurt.

She only knew one other person who was just as caring and compassionate, and that one person was the only one who could treat her the way that she wanted and needed to be treated for the rest of her life.

There was no answer when she knocked on the door, so she opened it slowly, looking around. Boxes were all over the apartment - he must have been packing since she had last seen him.

He rounded the corner of the hallway with a large box in his arms, and he almost dropped it when he saw her, coming to a complete stop instead. "Hatsumi, what are you..."

She dropped her backpack and then slowly took off her jacket. "You made my choice for me," she said simply, continuing to remove her clothing. He watched only her face, as if he were in a trance - she imagined that he was probably in shock, to some degree. Earlier today he had been under the impression that he would never see her again, and now she was here, in his apartment, taking off her clothes.

It made her think of when she had been so upset with Ryoki that she had asked Shinogu to maker her "his woman." And yet, this was entirely different. Because she had realized something in the time between their last meeting in the park, and now.

She was already in love with Shinogu.

She had always been in love with him.

Yes, that love had changed, but he had always been there to take care of her. He wasn't looking out for her, like a brother.

He was caring for her like a very, very close friend.

As they had gotten older, that caring had simply run its course, and now that she had had time to deal with the fact that he wasn't actually her brother...

She had fallen in love with him too.

"What are you doing?" he asked quietly, putting down his box as she unbuttoned her shirt. She dropped it on the floor, walking towards him in just her bra and jeans, and wrapping her arms around him. She stood on tip-toe to look him in the eye.

"I just found out I'm in love with you," she said breathlessly, "Can you love me too?"

His fingers caressed her bare back and his breath was warm on her face, sending chills down her back.

"Are you sure about this?"

No doubt he was reminded of that incident so many years ago as well.

She smiled. "I'm sure."

--

**A/N:** I know this chapter was short, but I really wanted to get it out for you guys. I finally just decided that she should be with Shinogu, since I really feel like they're meant to be. I'll probably end up writing an AzuxHatsu one-shot at one point, so...I'll keep you posted.

Hope you enjoyed! Warning: the next chapter will be a lemon.

--kat


	9. Passion

Passion

Shinogu leaned forward, just barely letting his lips brush against hers. She closed her eyes, living in this moment; where else would she want to be, when she could be here with the man she now knew she loved? His fingers grazed the back of her neck, holding her, tangling in her hair. "You're not angry?" he asked, his eyes lighting up, "You don't just want me to 'make you my woman?'"

She laughed happily, "No, I don't. I mean, I do, but you know...in a good way..."

He laughed too, and it made Hatsumi's heart skip a few beats. "And you want to start things between us like this. With...with sex..."

"You don't want to?"

"No, I do!" They both giggled hysterically, Hatsumi tilting her head forward to try and stop. She didn't know why she was nervous - maybe it was because she had never really been with anyone with Ryoki - she had never really been with someone who would make love to her rather than have sex with her. The laughter wound down and he put a hand under her chin, making eye contact with her. "I just wish I'd had more time to prepare. I want this to be special."

"It will be," she said, "It's you."

He smiled, and she felt that new feeling in her chest, the one that she got whenever he was happy. "Okay."

They clasped hands and he led her down a short hallway and into his room. Boxes were stacked along every wall, and a mattress lay on the floor with just a sheet, a pillow, and a comforter on it; he had already taken apart the bed frame and had the pieces stuffed inside a box.

They didn't rush, although Hatsumi could feel the heated anticipation filling the room. Shinogu didn't take the time to turn on any lights, simply letting the light from the hallway filter in through the door. She took a seat on the bed, stretching out her legs and watching quietly as he took off his shirt and went to join her.

He knelt down in front of her, then held her face in his hands and kissed her slowly, letting things progress naturally, waiting to slip his tongue between her lips. She mimicked him, and the kiss got more and more passionate, his hands moving around to the back of her neck and massaging her scalp sensuously. He pushed her down into the mattress gently, holding himself up with one arm and putting his other hand in the small of her back so she wouldn't fall. Everything was so considerate, and so like him.

She didn't know how she had gone so long without even seeing him.

Everything about him was so different than it was with Ryoki. The rush to get off her clothes and fulfill his own needs was absent with Shinogu - it was as if it were as gratifying for him to make her feel good as it was to do things that made him feel good. He took his time brushing his lips over every curve - her shoulders, neck, and collar bone. He looked into her eyes questioningly. "May I?" he asked, his fingers just barely touching the clasp of her bra.

She replied with a simple, excited, scared, exhilarated, "Yes."

He took off her bra with ease - she didn't doubt that he had been with other women in the past, and he certainly had experience with this sort of thing. He pulled the article of clothing off of her outstretched arms, and she brought them back to clasp his shoulders again after it had been tossed away. Shinogu's kisses became almost hungry as he kissed her chest all over and then wrapped his lips around a nipple. She took in a sharp breath, wrapping her hand around the back of his scalp and tangling her fingers in his hair. With this new closeness she felt the hardness between his legs, and it wasn't intimidating, but exciting. Her heart clenched with anticipation.

Pleasured sounds escaped from her lips, the likes of which she had never made before. Shinogu raked his fingers over her stomach and caressed her other breast with one hand, making her tingle all the way to her core. He groaned slightly, and she was glad that he was enjoying this as much as she was...and flattered, of course, that he liked making her feel good.

It was a nice change.

She wanted to taste his skin too, so she tapped his shoulder as if requesting for him to flip over, and he did so - she sampled every inch of his upper body, his collar bone, his neck...she smiled when he gasped at her ministrations, clutching at her shoulders. His skin was textured with scars from childhood falls and a few adolescent fights. She smiled also at the fact that she could remember where he got those scars.

"I love you so much," he whispered in her ear as she sucked on his neck.

"I love you too," she said, completely honestly. It felt good to be able to say that without wondering what the repercussions would be in the future - without wondering if she would one day leave him and regret ever saying those words. This feeling was so true.

He ran his fingers over the button on her jeans, and she nodded without him having to ask - he proceeded to undo the button and then the zipper, and laughed, embarrassed, when he couldn't easily get the jeans off. They stopped for a moment so she could pull the pants over her hips and off of her ankles. He hastily did the same, and then they were even closer, moving together and letting out pleasured sighs at each touch of their skin.

Hatsumi's eyes widened when he ran his fingers up her thigh, just barely hooking his finger into the waistband of her panties...and nodded again when she realized his intentions.

She came quickly as he stroked his finger smoothly over her most private place - she was already so aroused that it didn't take too long to bring her to climax. She gripped the sheets and twisted her body upwards, breathing heavily. He lightly kissed her neck and her chest as she came down from it, her entire body tingling.

"Are you ready?" he asked in the darkness.

"Of course," she said, smiling and putting her hand gently against his cheek.

He moved over so that he could remove his underwear, and she blushed and giggled when she glanced at his stiffened member.

He was bigger than Ryoki.

"What?" he said, hastily pulling out a condom and putting it on.

"Oh, nothing," she replied, feigning innocence. She was still buzzing from when he had been touching her.

Shinogu kissed her and then settled himself comfortably between her legs. They were taking their time, although she couldn't wait for the actual act and she could tell that he was having a hard time holding back as well. But they wanted to relish this moment - the moment when she would be his without doing it for revenge or out of sadness.

"You're sure about this?" he asked once more.

And without hesitation, she said yes.

He pushed into her, his mouth just barely open and his eyes closed. He bowed his head until their foreheads were touching, and then began to move.

It was not at all the same as with Ryoki - Hatsumi couldn't say that the actual physical feeling was all that different, but the emotional sensation was, and it seemed to enhance every movement they made. It was safer, warmer, and even more pleasurable. Shinogu groaned, letting his head collapse into the crook of her neck, and she gripped his back as a wave of pleasure shot through her. And all the while, through the basic desire, she felt the overpowering feeling of love that encompassed both of them.

The sensations shot through her, getting stronger and stronger, until she was ready to climax. Shinogu muttered a garbled mess of words - that she somehow knew were supposed to sound like "Hatsumi" - and then her muscles contracted inside and they came together, holding one another close and breathing heavily into the other's ears.

They lay together for what felt like hours. Hatsumi smiled and traced her fingers over his skin, and Shinogu wove his fingers into her hair. "I can't believe you're finally here...with me," he whispered.

"It had to happen eventually," she said, her face breaking into a grin.

And they slept.

--

It was five o'clock in the morning and Akane's cell phone was ringing.

_It was five o'clock in the morning._

She didn't know why her cell phone was ringing, and she wasn't exactly happy about it. She had been sleeping - and sleeping well, despite the fact that she couldn't get her mind off of the boy that she had lost and the boy that she could still have. And now it all rushed back.

She would not be getting any more sleep that night.

The phone told her that it was Azusa.

_Why on earth_ was Azusa calling her at five in the morning? This was even more puzzling. Through a sleep-deprived haze, she reluctantly picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Akane, it's Azusa."

"What do you want?"

"I was wondering if you'd heard from Hatsumi. I haven't been able to reach her for the past couple of days and I'm starting to get a little worried."

That woke her up. "Do you have any idea where she could be? Where are you? Weren't you with her?"

"Yeah, I was, but I drove back home. She was going to see Shinogu and she'd just turned me down..."

"And this was two days ago?"

"Yeah."

Something could have happened, but the fact that she was supposed to be with Shinogu made her feel quite a bit better. Even if he had put her in the hospital (accidentally) she still felt that he was a very good person for Hatsumi to be with.

Akane sighed. "No, I haven't heard from her...but I'm sure she's fine."

Azusa mumbled agreement and then took a deep breath. "Are you fine?"

"Excuse me?"

He laughed. "Are you okay?"

Akane groaned. "No...but I don't want to talk to you about it."

"Are you sure? I'm right down the road. I could come over right now."

Hmm...maybe there was another boy she could have.

But this was not the time for flirting. She needed to figure things out without having someone around to lean on. She was a strong person, and she definitely did not need a man to make her feel good about herself or to guide her through life.

She smiled to herself as she replied. "Not this time, buddy."

"You're sure?"

"I'm positive." She frowned. "And I'll call Hatsumi in the morning. She's probably in a hotel somewhere...just trying to figure things out."

"Alright. Sorry I woke you up."

"Mmhm. Good night."

"Good night."

Akane ended up getting a full night of sleep that night. She didn't need a member of the opposite sex to serve as a pillow.

--

Hatsumi and Shinogu stayed in bed for most of two days.

They left the bed only three times - once to go out and buy more condoms, and twice to make breakfast.

Hatsumi's cell phone stayed in her purse, which she had dropped off by the front door. It ran out of battery and died, and she unfortunately missed every single one of Azusa's calls.

(Azusa wasn't sure if he called her because he was worried or if he knew that she was with Shinogu. It was, most likely, the latter.)

The second morning, the two of them sat at the table and sipped coffee, Shinogu in nothing but his boxers and Hatsumi in one of his over-sized T-shirts.

Hatsumi looked around at the boxes, still stacked up all over the apartment. "I think it's time for me to get back," she said, looking over at him, "I'm sure my parents are freaking out. And I need to get back and talk to Akane."

Shinogu nodded. "So...what's the plan?"

She glanced again at the boxes. "Well, since you're already all packed up, I think it's time you came home."

He smiled. "I think so too."

They got dressed and packed his sparse belongings into the trunk of his car. "We'll have to make a return trip," he said.

"I don't mind," she replied, "But let's make sure to leave the mattress."

--

Back down the road, in a different car. Hatsumi rolled down her window and let her hair whip around her face.

Azusa still had her wedding dress in a shopping bag in the back seat of his car.

She wondered how soon she would be needing it again, and then decided it didn't matter. She and Shinogu were going to do this right and take all the time they needed.

Things were so perfect now - she couldn't believe that she had been so ready to give up the rest of her life to be with Ryoki. It all seemed so stupid now, as if the past few years had been a waste.

But they weren't. They allowed her to grow. Those years had given her the tools she needed to dig out the real Hatsumi on this very trip. And now that she knew who she was, she was going to use that knowledge to live her life the way it was meant to be lived.

She glanced over at Shinogu and smiled. He smiled back.

What a great kidnapping that had been.

--

THE END

--

**A/N:** I know it was short, but I hope you guys enjoyed! This was such a fun fanfic to write, and I'm so glad that I got so many views considering that it's a small fandom. It might not happen...but there's a chance that there will be a HatsumixAzusa one shot sometime in the future.

In regard to the lemon, I hope you guys liked that too. I don't make a practice of writing lemons, and when I do they are not very graphic or detailed, but I hope that it was well-done. I prefer to go with romantic rather than sexual.

Soooo anyway. Hope you guys liked the ending. I sure did enjoy writing this for you. :)

--kat


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